Gratitude for tension headaches: 20 minutes, between meetings

About this practice

For the times between meetings when tension headaches takes up more room than you would like — 20 minutes, gratitude. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tension headaches

Tension headaches follow a band of tightness across the forehead and around the skull, usually the product of long staring, jaw clenching and neck position.

It tends to show up as:

• A band of pressure across the forehead
• Pressure behind the eyes
• Ache worsening through the day

Softening the jaw, eyes and neck interrupts the pattern early. Once a tension headache settles in it is harder to shift.

Doing this between meetings

• Start it in the gap, not after the next one begins
• Write down the open thread from the last meeting first, then let it go
• Two minutes done beats five minutes planned

The back-to-back day is exactly why the gap has to be protected rather than used for one more task.

How gratitude works

Gratitude here is an attention practice, not a demand for a positive mood. Attention defaults to threats because they are urgent, so pleasant and ordinary things get skipped simply for being safe.

• Pick one ordinary thing rather than something impressive
• Stay with it for two breaths — depth beats length of list
• Do not aim at feeling grateful; aim at noticing

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your shoulders drop about a centimetre. That is roughly where most of us keep the day.
2. 0:15Nothing here needs to be efficient.
3. 0:25Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
4. 0:37There's no correct speed. Slower isn't better. Steadier is the only aim.
5. 0:50Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
6. 1:03Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
7. 1:17Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
8. 1:29Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
9. 1:40Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
10. 1:53Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
11. 2:05Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
12. 2:16If the band around the forehead has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
13. 2:34Imagine softening the edges of the pressure building behind the eyes. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
14. 2:52Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
15. 3:03You have been carrying the ache from a long staring day for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
16. 3:24Notice the space around the band around the forehead. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
17. 3:42Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
18. 3:56If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
19. 4:09We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
20. 4:19Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
21. 4:30If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
22. 4:43There's no need to try harder than this.
23. 4:54A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
24. 5:05Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
25. 5:19You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
26. 5:32I'll step back. You stay here.
27. 5:42Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
28. 5:53We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
29. 6:07Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
30. 6:18Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
31. 6:29If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
32. 6:42Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
33. 6:54If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
34. 7:08Small efforts are the whole method.
35. 7:18A short silence. Let it be empty.
36. 7:28If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
37. 7:41Take the next breath slowly.
38. 7:50Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
39. 8:04Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
40. 8:15I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
41. 8:27Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
42. 8:39A few seconds more.
43. 8:48Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
44. 9:01Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
45. 9:15I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
46. 9:28Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
47. 9:41No need to open your eyes yet.
48. 9:51Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
49. 10:03Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
50. 10:15Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
51. 10:28Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
52. 10:43Nothing changes for a moment.
53. 10:52If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
54. 11:05Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
55. 11:15Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
56. 11:28Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
57. 11:40Keep following the air.
58. 11:49Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
59. 12:01If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
60. 12:15Let this one be unhurried.
61. 12:24Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
62. 12:36Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
63. 12:49Let the quiet do its work.
64. 12:59Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
65. 13:12Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
66. 13:26Stay here a little longer.
67. 13:35Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
68. 13:47Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
69. 14:00Just the breath, still.
70. 14:09Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
71. 14:20Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
72. 14:31Remain here for a few more breaths.
73. 14:41Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
74. 14:53Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the pressure building behind the eyes is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
75. 15:12Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
76. 15:24When the ache from a long staring day arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
77. 15:44Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
78. 15:57Give the band around the forehead a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
79. 16:15You do not have to like the pressure building behind the eyes to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
80. 16:32Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
81. 16:48There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
82. 17:06Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
83. 17:23Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
84. 17:37If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
85. 17:51If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
86. 18:05If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
87. 18:20Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
88. 18:31Let this be easy, if easy is available.
89. 18:42Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
90. 18:52Before you move, notice one thing that's fine right now.
91. 19:04Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.