7-minute grounding meditation for tension headaches, after a fight

About this practice

For the times after a fight when tension headaches takes up more room than you would like — 7 minutes, grounding. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tension headaches

Tension headaches follow a band of tightness across the forehead and around the skull, usually the product of long staring, jaw clenching and neck position.

It tends to show up as:

• A band of pressure across the forehead
• Pressure behind the eyes
• Ache worsening through the day

Softening the jaw, eyes and neck interrupts the pattern early. Once a tension headache settles in it is harder to shift.

Doing this after an argument

• Do it before you re-engage or send anything
• Let the physical arousal drop first — it takes minutes, not hours
• Write down nothing you intend to send during it

Whatever you would write in the first ten minutes is rarely what you would say after thirty.

How grounding works

Grounding brings attention to physical contact and the immediate environment. It works on the principle that the body cannot be somewhere else, so contact with the surface you are on is always available as an anchor.

• Feel the contact points — feet, seat, back — and let them take your weight
• Use the senses deliberately: what you can see, hear, touch
• Return to solidity whenever attention drifts

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If your legs are crossed, uncross them. Small changes count.
2. 0:12Press down slightly and feel the push back. Your body already knows where it is.
3. 0:26There's a difference between relaxing and stopping. We're aiming for the second one, gently.
4. 0:40Notice whether your breathing is high in your chest or low in your belly. Just notice. No fixing.
5. 0:56Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
6. 1:08Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
7. 1:22Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
8. 1:34Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
9. 1:46Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
10. 1:57You do not have to like the pressure building behind the eyes to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
11. 2:14Each time your mind hands you the ache from a long staring day, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
12. 2:34Feel your calves, front and back.
13. 2:44Keep following the air.
14. 2:53Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
15. 3:06If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
16. 3:20Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
17. 3:31The floor is holding you right now. You do not have to hold yourself up.
18. 3:45If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
19. 3:58Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
20. 4:11Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
21. 4:23Picture the band around the forehead as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
22. 4:42Notice where the pressure building behind the eyes lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
23. 5:01Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
24. 5:14If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
25. 5:28If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
26. 5:42Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
27. 5:53Come back to the solid things: weight, temperature, surface. They are always available.
28. 6:06Take your time opening your eyes. Nothing is waiting urgently.
29. 6:18Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
30. 6:33No rush to move on.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.