15-minute letting go meditation for self-criticism, at the end of the day

About this practice

A 15-minute letting go session for self-criticism, at the end of the day. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: self-criticism

Self-criticism is a habit of speech, not an accurate report. The same inner voice repeats whether or not the evidence supports it.

It tends to show up as:

• A running commentary on your mistakes
• Harsh words you would never say aloud to someone else
• Reviewing old failures in detail

The practice is not to argue with the voice, but to speak to yourself in a tone that does not require an argument.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Unclench your jaw. You were probably holding it without noticing.
2. 0:12You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:25Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
4. 0:37Imagine your thoughts as traffic on a road you're standing beside. You don't have to flag any of it down.
5. 0:54Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
6. 1:09Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
7. 1:22Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
8. 1:34Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
9. 1:46Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
10. 1:58Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
11. 2:08Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
12. 2:18Give the criticism you would never aim at a friend a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
13. 2:37If the record of your mistakes starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
14. 2:54Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
15. 3:08Each time your mind hands you the harsh voice inside, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
16. 3:27You do not have to win against the criticism you would never aim at a friend. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
17. 3:46Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
18. 3:58Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
19. 4:08Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
20. 4:19Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
21. 4:30Let your body keep settling.
22. 4:39Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
23. 4:53Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
24. 5:06A few seconds more.
25. 5:15Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
26. 5:28Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
27. 5:39No rush to move on.
28. 5:48Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
29. 6:01Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
30. 6:12Just the breath, still.
31. 6:21Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
32. 6:34Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
33. 6:46No need to open your eyes yet.
34. 6:56Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
35. 7:08Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
36. 7:20We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
37. 7:34Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
38. 7:47I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
39. 7:59If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
40. 8:12If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
41. 8:25Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
42. 8:36There's no need to try harder than this.
43. 8:47Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
44. 8:59A short silence. Let it be empty.
45. 9:09We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
46. 9:19Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
47. 9:31I'll step back. You stay here.
48. 9:41Let this be easy, if easy is available.
49. 9:52If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
50. 10:05Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
51. 10:17Small efforts are the whole method.
52. 10:27Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
53. 10:40Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
54. 10:54Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
55. 11:04Notice how the record of your mistakes changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
56. 11:21Picture the harsh voice inside as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
57. 11:39Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
58. 11:51Let the criticism you would never aim at a friend be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
59. 12:13Let the exhale carry a little of the record of your mistakes with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
60. 12:32Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
61. 12:43Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
62. 12:54Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
63. 13:08If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
64. 13:19Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
65. 13:31Nothing here needs to be efficient.
66. 13:41Let this one be unhurried.
67. 13:50Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.
68. 14:02Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
69. 14:15Remain here for a few more breaths.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.