12-minute guided self-compassion practice for waking up — in the queue

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for waking up. A self-compassion session you can do in the queue. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: waking up

On waking, the brain passes through a slow transition rather than switching on. Rushing it leaves you foggy for the first hour.

It tends to show up as:

• Needing a long time to feel awake
• Foggy, irritable mornings
• The day starting before you are ready

Giving the body a few unhurried minutes at the start changes the tone of everything that follows.

Doing this in a waiting room

• You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are
• Nothing here needs to look like a meditation
• Aim for steadiness rather than calm

Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If your legs are crossed, uncross them. Small changes count.
2. 0:12Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
3. 0:28Now let your attention move from the room into your body, slowly, the way you'd move through a doorway you know well.
4. 0:46We'll work through this slowly. If you lose the thread, the thread will wait.
5. 1:00Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
6. 1:12Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
7. 1:26Feel the tops of your thighs.
8. 1:36Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
9. 1:48Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
10. 1:59Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
11. 2:13Imagine softening the edges of the morning body that needs a moment. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
12. 2:32You do not have to solve the slow start of the day in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
13. 2:52Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
14. 3:08Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
15. 3:20Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
16. 3:36Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
17. 3:47Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
18. 4:00You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
19. 4:13Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
20. 4:25Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
21. 4:37The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
22. 4:52I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
23. 5:04If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
24. 5:18Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
25. 5:33A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
26. 5:44If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
27. 5:57Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
28. 6:10No need to open your eyes yet.
29. 6:20Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
30. 6:32Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
31. 6:46Let this one be unhurried.
32. 6:55Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
33. 7:05Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
34. 7:16Let your body keep settling.
35. 7:25Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
36. 7:37Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
37. 7:48Just the breath, still.
38. 7:57Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
39. 8:09Feel the weight of the fog of just-woken somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
40. 8:25Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
41. 8:36If the morning body that needs a moment shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
42. 8:57Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
43. 9:11If the slow start of the day has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
44. 9:29Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
45. 9:46If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
46. 10:00If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
47. 10:14You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
48. 10:26A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
49. 10:37Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
50. 10:51Let the pause stretch out.
51. 11:00Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.
52. 11:12Let the quiet end on its own rather than cutting it off.
53. 11:25Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.