10-minute self-compassion meditation for anticipatory anxiety, beside your desk

About this practice

For the times beside your desk when anticipatory anxiety takes up more room than you would like — 10 minutes, self-compassion. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: anticipatory anxiety

Dread of an upcoming event is often heavier than the event itself. The waiting period keeps the body in low-level alert for days.

It tends to show up as:

• Stomach dropping when you remember what is coming
• Sleep getting worse as the date approaches
• Wanting to cancel to get relief

The anticipation is a state, not a warning. Practising being in the present while the dread is present teaches the body it can wait without bracing.

Doing this at your desk

• Feet flat, back supported, screen away from your eyeline
• You can do this with your eyes open if the office makes closing them awkward
• Unclench the jaw and drop the shoulders first, before anything else

Nobody needs to know you are doing it. Keep it invisible if that makes it possible.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the temperature of the air on the backs of your hands.
2. 0:13Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
3. 0:28If your mind is loud, that's information, not failure.
4. 0:39Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
5. 0:53Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
6. 1:04Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
7. 1:18Feel your calves, front and back.
8. 1:28Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
9. 1:39Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
10. 1:52Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
11. 2:05There is no correct amount of the nervous hours before to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
12. 2:23You are allowed to be unimpressed by the dread of an event that has not happened. Indifference is a legitimate response.
13. 2:40Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
14. 2:51Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
15. 3:05Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
16. 3:17Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
17. 3:30You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
18. 3:43Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
19. 3:55If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
20. 4:08Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
21. 4:24I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
22. 4:37If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
23. 4:51Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
24. 5:02Stay here a little longer.
25. 5:11Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
26. 5:23Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
27. 5:36A few seconds more.
28. 5:45Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
29. 5:57Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
30. 6:09Let the quiet do its work.
31. 6:19Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
32. 6:30Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
33. 6:44I'll step back. You stay here.
34. 6:54There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
35. 7:12the nervous hours before may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
36. 7:29Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
37. 7:42Feel the weight of the dread of an event that has not happened somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
38. 8:01If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
39. 8:15If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
40. 8:30Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
41. 8:42The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
42. 8:57Keep following the air.
43. 9:06When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
44. 9:19Let the last of the stillness stay with you for a few more seconds.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.