Guide · stress · 3 min read
Navigating a challenging meeting with a colleague
The bulk of your anxiety often centers around the initial minutes, not the entire discussion. Tackling those first few moments can make the rest smoother.
Start here
Every point here is written so that a bad week is still enough to manage it.
Waiting is dead time you can spend on this instead.
If you only do one thing from this page, do the first point below. It is first because it removes the most friction for the least effort.
What helps
Decide in advance what you will do if it goes badly. Having an exit plan makes it less likely you will need one.
Do four slow breaths before you start. Not to calm down — to give yourself a beginning.
Pick a time when neither of you is hungry, tired or about to leave. Timing prevents more bad conversations than phrasing does.
What to do when it does not work
Write the first two sentences you will say. Not a script for the whole thing — just the opening, because that is where people freeze.
Decide what you want to happen, not just what you want to say. Those are different, and the second one often gets in the way of the first.
Plan one question you genuinely want answered. It turns a speech into a conversation.
Questions people ask
What if the other person gets upset?
Let them. Being upset is not the same as the conversation failing. Pausing for a minute is allowed.
Written for people who want the practical version. No accounts, no tracking, no newsletter wall.
If this is not the angle you need, try Waking up anxious for no obvious reason, Navigating a challenging business meeting or What to do when you wake at 3am.