Breathing exercise · 4 · 2 · 6

How to use 4-2-6 breathing for a hard conversation, if you have done this a hundred times

4 · 2 · 6 breathing: a short hold in the middle, a long way out.

Ready0

Follow the circle. It counts for you.

How it works

Breathe in for 4, hold for 2, then let the breath go for 6 counts. If you have done this a hundred times, change one small thing tonight. Notice what's solid: the floor, the chair, your own weight.

Why it can help

The extra seconds on the way out give your body a longer signal that nothing is chasing you.

The pattern, in seconds

PhaseLengthStarts at
Inhale4s0s
Hold2s4s
Exhale6s6s

One round is 12 seconds. At the default 5 rounds this practice runs 60 seconds — about 1 minute — plus a breath or two of ordinary breathing between rounds.

Good for

  • in the car, parked, before you go inside
  • after an argument, before you decide what to say next
  • at the kitchen table, with a cup of tea going cold

Tips

  • Aim for something you could keep up in a waiting room without anyone noticing.
  • Try the same pattern at a different time of day and see whether it feels different.
  • Never push through a hold. Coming out of it early is always the right call.

Please note

If holding your breath makes you dizzy or uncomfortable, skip the holds entirely and breathe slowly and evenly instead. Never push through lightheadedness. If you are pregnant, or manage a heart, blood pressure or lung condition, check with a doctor before doing breath holds.