4-7-8 breathing exercise for a hard conversation

How it works

The ratio is 4 in, hold for 7, 8 out. Only the out-breath needs any attention. Choosing this over scrolling counts as a good decision, even a small one. Let the physical world hold your attention.

Why it can help

Because it is one-directional, there is less to remember than with a hold. That makes it easier to keep going.

The pattern, in seconds

One round is 19 seconds. At the default 6 rounds this practice runs 114 seconds — about 1 minute — plus a breath or two of ordinary breathing between rounds.

Good for

• when you notice your shoulders are up near your ears
• when the day has been fine but you still feel braced
• in the car, parked, before you go inside

Tips

• The counts are a guide. If a number feels too long, shorten every side by one.
• Notice which part of the breath feels tight, and reduce that count first.
• If holding for the full count feels tight, drop every number by one. The shape matters more than the size.

Please note

If holding your breath makes you dizzy or uncomfortable, skip the holds entirely and breathe slowly and evenly instead. Never push through lightheadedness. If you are pregnant, or manage a heart, blood pressure or lung condition, check with a doctor before doing breath holds.