Softening meditation for sleep (12 min), at the airport

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for sleep. A softening session you can do at the airport. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sleep

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up.

It tends to show up as:

• Getting a second wind at bedtime
• Mind starting up as soon as the light goes off
• Sleep arriving much later than you intended

The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Doing this on a plane

• Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
• Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
• Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Your breathing doesn't have to change yet. Let it be whatever size it currently is.
2. 0:14Nothing here needs to be efficient.
3. 0:24Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
4. 0:36Imagine your thoughts as traffic on a road you're standing beside. You don't have to flag any of it down.
5. 0:53Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
6. 1:07Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
7. 1:19Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
8. 1:31Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
9. 1:43Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
10. 1:55Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
11. 2:06the quiet your mind keeps postponing may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
12. 2:24You do not have to win against the heaviness your body already knows. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
13. 2:42Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
14. 2:55Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
15. 3:08Let this be easy, if easy is available.
16. 3:19I'll step back. You stay here.
17. 3:29If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
18. 3:42We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
19. 3:52Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
20. 4:03Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
21. 4:15Small efforts are the whole method.
22. 4:25Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
23. 4:37Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
24. 4:48There's no need to try harder than this.
25. 4:59Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
26. 5:10If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
27. 5:24You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
28. 5:37A few seconds more.
29. 5:46Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
30. 5:58Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
31. 6:10No rush to move on.
32. 6:19Feel your calves, front and back.
33. 6:29Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
34. 6:42Let the pause stretch out.
35. 6:51Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
36. 7:01Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
37. 7:12Remain here for a few more breaths.
38. 7:22Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
39. 7:36Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
40. 7:50Let this one be unhurried.
41. 7:59Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
42. 8:11Notice the space around the day folding itself up. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
43. 8:29Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
44. 8:41Let the quiet your mind keeps postponing be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
45. 9:01Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
46. 9:17Nothing about the heaviness your body already knows has to be explained or justified in this room.
47. 9:32There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
48. 9:50Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
49. 10:01Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
50. 10:15Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
51. 10:27A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
52. 10:38If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
53. 10:51Stay with it.
54. 10:59Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.
55. 11:11Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
56. 11:24Keep following the air.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.