Softening for sleep: 7 minutes, on the morning of an interview

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for sleep. A softening session you can do on the morning of an interview. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sleep

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up.

It tends to show up as:

• Getting a second wind at bedtime
• Mind starting up as soon as the light goes off
• Sleep arriving much later than you intended

The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Doing this before an interview

• Do it where you will not be interrupted, even if that is a stairwell
• Have the first sentence of your answer ready afterwards
• Keep it short — there is no time for a long session

Nerves before an interview are normal and not something to eliminate. You need access to what you know, nothing more.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Put a hand on your chest for a moment if that feels steadying. Or don't. Both are allowed.
2. 0:16We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
3. 0:30Let your attention drop to the level of your shoulders and stay there a moment.
4. 0:44We'll start broad and narrow down. Nothing sudden is coming.
5. 0:56Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
6. 1:12Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
7. 1:25Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
8. 1:37Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
9. 1:51Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
10. 2:01You do not have to win against the heaviness your body already knows. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
11. 2:19Imagine softening the edges of the day folding itself up. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
12. 2:37Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
13. 2:49Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
14. 2:59Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
15. 3:12Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
16. 3:23Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
17. 3:34If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
18. 3:49Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
19. 4:00Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
20. 4:11Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
21. 4:23Let the quiet your mind keeps postponing be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
22. 4:43If you catch yourself fighting the heaviness your body already knows, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
23. 5:01Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
24. 5:16Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
25. 5:28If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
26. 5:42No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
27. 5:53With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
28. 6:08Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.
29. 6:22Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently, like you're testing that they still work.
30. 6:35Let the pause stretch out.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.