Self-compassion meditation for worry (10 min), late at night

About this practice

For the times late at night when worry takes up more room than you would like — 10 minutes, self-compassion. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: worry

Worry is rehearsal for a future that has not arrived. The body responds to the imagined event as if it were happening, so you pay the cost twice.

It tends to show up as:

• What-ifs lined up in a queue
• A knot low in the stomach
• Rehearsing bad outcomes before bed

You do not have to resolve the worry. Noticing it as a mental event, rather than an accurate forecast, loosens its grip.

Doing this at night

• Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night
• Keep the room dark, and use headphones rather than a speaker
• Expect to be awake for a while without treating that as a problem

Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Sit however you were already sitting. You don't have to straighten up first.
2. 0:13The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
3. 0:28There's no correct speed. Slower isn't better. Steadier is the only aim.
4. 0:41Let the breath get a little quieter, as if you were trying not to wake someone sleeping nearby.
5. 0:57Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
6. 1:08Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
7. 1:22Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
8. 1:34Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
9. 1:45Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
10. 1:57Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
11. 2:10Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the knot of worry low in the stomach is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
12. 2:30This is not the last time the mind rehearsing bad endings will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
13. 2:49Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
14. 3:00Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
15. 3:15I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
16. 3:28If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
17. 3:41Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
18. 3:55A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
19. 4:06If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
20. 4:19You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
21. 4:32I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
22. 4:44Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
23. 4:58Let your body keep settling.
24. 5:07Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
25. 5:19Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
26. 5:33Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
27. 5:43Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
28. 5:54Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
29. 6:08Just the breath, still.
30. 6:17Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
31. 6:29Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
32. 6:43I'll step back. You stay here.
33. 6:53Imagine the what-ifs lined up like worries as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
34. 7:12You have been carrying the knot of worry low in the stomach for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
35. 7:34Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
36. 7:47You do not have to like the mind rehearsing bad endings to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
37. 8:04Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
38. 8:18If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
39. 8:29Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
40. 8:40Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
41. 8:56Let this one be unhurried.
42. 9:05Come back at your own speed. The room will wait.
43. 9:17Start to notice the edges of your body again, and the surface you're on.
44. 9:31A few seconds more.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.