Self-compassion meditation for stress (10 min), on the morning of an interview

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 10 minutes of self-compassion for stress, on the morning of an interview. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: stress

Stress is a load that does not come off. Muscle tension accumulates in the shoulders, jaw and gut, and the body stops returning to baseline between demands.

It tends to show up as:

• Shoulders sitting up near the ears
• Short temper over small things
• Waking already tired

Short practices work on the physical part of the load. They do not remove the demands, but they stop the body storing all of them.

Doing this before an interview

• Do it where you will not be interrupted, even if that is a stairwell
• Have the first sentence of your answer ready afterwards
• Keep it short — there is no time for a long session

Nerves before an interview are normal and not something to eliminate. You need access to what you know, nothing more.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your shoulders drop about a centimetre. That is roughly where most of us keep the day.
2. 0:15We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:25Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
4. 0:37Nothing here needs to be pleasant. Neutral is fine. Dull is fine.
5. 0:50Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
6. 1:03Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
7. 1:16Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
8. 1:28Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9. 1:41Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
10. 1:54Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
11. 2:04If the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
12. 2:22If the load you are carrying shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
13. 2:42If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
14. 2:56If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
15. 3:09I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
16. 3:21If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
17. 3:35There's no need to try harder than this.
18. 3:46I'll step back. You stay here.
19. 3:56If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
20. 4:09We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
21. 4:23Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
22. 4:34If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
23. 4:46Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
24. 4:59Let this one be unhurried.
25. 5:08Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
26. 5:19Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
27. 5:33Let it be this simple.
28. 5:42Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
29. 5:54Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
30. 6:07Let your body keep settling.
31. 6:16Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
32. 6:30Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
33. 6:46I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
34. 6:58Notice where the tension of too much on the plate lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
35. 7:17Whatever the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
36. 7:33Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
37. 7:46This is not the last time the load you are carrying will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
38. 8:05If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
39. 8:18Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
40. 8:30Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
41. 8:42You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
42. 8:55Nothing changes for a moment.
43. 9:04Come back to the room through your senses, one at a time.
44. 9:17Notice the room again: the sounds, the temperature, the light.
45. 9:29A few seconds more.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.