Self-compassion meditation for falling asleep (7 min), on a train

About this practice

A 7-minute self-compassion session for falling asleep, on a train. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

• Watching the clock
• Getting frustrated at being awake
• Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this on a train

• Pick a window seat if you can and let the view do part of the work
• Set an alarm for your stop
• Keep the bag on your lap rather than unfastening to find it later

The motion can make reading or screens uncomfortable, which is another reason audio works better here.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Unclench your jaw. You were probably holding it without noticing.
2. 0:12Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
3. 0:28Nothing here needs to be pleasant. Neutral is fine. Dull is fine.
4. 0:41Let your attention rest on the out-breath. The in-breath can take care of itself.
5. 0:55Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
6. 1:09Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7. 1:23Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
8. 1:34Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
9. 1:46Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
10. 1:59Nothing about the thoughts that keep the light on has to be explained or justified in this room.
11. 2:15Each time your mind hands you the surrender at the end of the day, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
12. 2:36Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
13. 2:48Stay here a little longer.
14. 2:57Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
15. 3:10If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
16. 3:23Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
17. 3:34Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
18. 3:48If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
19. 4:01Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
20. 4:15Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
21. 4:27the slow drift toward sleep may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
22. 4:45Picture the thoughts that keep the light on as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
23. 5:04Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
24. 5:17If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
25. 5:32Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
26. 5:44I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
27. 5:56You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
28. 6:09Start to notice the edges of your body again, and the surface you're on.
29. 6:23Let your shoulders come back up to their usual place, if they want to.
30. 6:37No need to open your eyes yet.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.