Self-compassion for jaw tension: 10 minutes, before work

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 10 minutes of self-compassion for jaw tension, before work. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: jaw tension

The jaw is a stress-holding site for many people, often without awareness until it aches. Grinding at night and clenching by day are the same response.

It tends to show up as:

• Clenched teeth, especially in the evening
• Aching or clicking jaw joints
• A dull headache at the temples

Repeatedly checking and softening the jaw through a session teaches you to catch the clench during the day.

Doing this before a busy day

• Do it before the first message or notification
• Aim for steadiness rather than energy
• Decide the first task afterwards, not during

The point is to begin without already being behind, not to prepare for every possibility.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Check your hands. Are they doing anything? Let them stop.
2. 0:12Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
3. 0:28We'll work through this slowly. If you lose the thread, the thread will wait.
4. 0:42We'll be quiet for a bit longer than usual. Stay with whatever shows up.
5. 0:56If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
6. 1:10Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
7. 1:21Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
8. 1:31Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
9. 1:42Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
10. 1:54Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
11. 2:06If the clenched teeth at night is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
12. 2:23Imagine the tight jaw that speaks for your stress as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
13. 2:42Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
14. 2:55The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
15. 3:10I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
16. 3:23Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
17. 3:35Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
18. 3:49I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
19. 4:01Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
20. 4:14You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
21. 4:27Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
22. 4:39Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
23. 4:50Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
24. 5:05Just the breath, still.
25. 5:14Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
26. 5:26Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
27. 5:39Let the quiet do its work.
28. 5:49Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
29. 6:02Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
30. 6:14No need to open your eyes yet.
31. 6:24Feel the tops of your thighs.
32. 6:34Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
33. 6:47No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
34. 6:58Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
35. 7:15Let the exhale carry a little of the clenched teeth at night with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
36. 7:34Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
37. 7:48You are allowed to be unimpressed by the tight jaw that speaks for your stress. Indifference is a legitimate response.
38. 8:05If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
39. 8:19Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
40. 8:31Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
41. 8:42Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
42. 8:57Stay here a little longer.
43. 9:06Come back to the room through your senses, one at a time.
44. 9:19Let your eyes open when they're ready, not when the words end.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.