Self-compassion for financial stress: 20 minutes, during a break

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for financial stress. A self-compassion session you can do during a break. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: financial stress

Money worry runs at night, when there is nothing to do about it. The lack of any available action keeps the nervous system activated for hours.

It tends to show up as:

• Lying awake doing arithmetic
• A clenched stomach opening the bank app
• Irritability about small spending

At 2am there is no decision to make, only a night to get through. That is the whole job of this practice.

Doing this on a break

• Leave the room if you can
• Do not start anything else in the same gap
• Set a timer so the break has an end

A break spent half-engaged with a screen is not much of a break. Guard the whole five minutes.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Check your hands. Are they doing anything? Let them stop.
2. 0:12You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
3. 0:25If some part of you is resisting this, that resistance is worth noticing too.
4. 0:39Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
5. 0:52Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:06Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
7. 1:19Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
8. 1:30Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
9. 1:40Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
10. 1:54Feel the tops of your thighs.
11. 2:04Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
12. 2:17the fear about money in the night may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
13. 2:36You do not have to win against the arithmetic that will not balance. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
14. 2:54Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
15. 3:07There is no correct amount of the worry that follows the bills to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
16. 3:26If you catch yourself fighting the fear about money in the night, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
17. 3:45Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
18. 3:56Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
19. 4:08The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
20. 4:23No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
21. 4:34Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
22. 4:45Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
23. 4:59I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
24. 5:11Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
25. 5:22Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
26. 5:37Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
27. 5:48Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
28. 6:01Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
29. 6:17Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
30. 6:29If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
31. 6:42Let this one be unhurried.
32. 6:51Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
33. 7:07Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
34. 7:19A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
35. 7:30If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
36. 7:43Keep following the air.
37. 7:52Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
38. 8:05Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
39. 8:17I'll step back. You stay here.
40. 8:27If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
41. 8:39Let the pause stretch out.
42. 8:48Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
43. 9:01Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
44. 9:14Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
45. 9:26Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
46. 9:40Stay with it.
47. 9:48If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
48. 10:02Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
49. 10:13Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
50. 10:25Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
51. 10:38Remain here for a few more breaths.
52. 10:48Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
53. 11:00Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
54. 11:11Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
55. 11:22Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
56. 11:35No rush to move on.
57. 11:44If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
58. 11:55A short silence. Let it be empty.
59. 12:05Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
60. 12:18Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
61. 12:30Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
62. 12:40Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
63. 12:52Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
64. 13:05Take the next breath slowly.
65. 13:14Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
66. 13:25Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
67. 13:38Nothing changes for a moment.
68. 13:47Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
69. 14:01Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
70. 14:16Just the breath, still.
71. 14:25Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
72. 14:37You are allowed to be unimpressed by the arithmetic that will not balance. Indifference is a legitimate response.
73. 14:53I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
74. 15:06This is not the last time the worry that follows the bills will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
75. 15:25Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
76. 15:41Let the exhale carry a little of the fear about money in the night with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
77. 16:01When the arithmetic that will not balance presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
78. 16:21Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
79. 16:35If the worry that follows the bills is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
80. 16:53Notice how the fear about money in the night changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
81. 17:11Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
82. 17:24You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
83. 17:36If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
84. 17:50If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
85. 18:03Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
86. 18:14Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
87. 18:30Stay here a little longer.
88. 18:39Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.
89. 18:51Take one breath that's a little fuller than the others, and let it out through your mouth.
90. 19:06Let it be this simple.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.