Self-compassion for contentment: 7 minutes, beside your desk

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for contentment. A self-compassion session you can do beside your desk. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: contentment

Contentment is the absence of the next want, not the presence of everything. It lasts only as long as the wanting pauses.

It tends to show up as:

• Arriving without enjoying the arrival
• Immediately wanting the next thing
• Rest feeling unearned

Not wanting more for a few minutes is a trainable state, and it is available without acquiring anything.

Doing this at your desk

• Feet flat, back supported, screen away from your eyeline
• You can do this with your eyes open if the office makes closing them awkward
• Unclench the jaw and drop the shoulders first, before anything else

Nobody needs to know you are doing it. Keep it invisible if that makes it possible.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the heaviest part of your body right now. Let it be heavy.
2. 0:13Let this be easy, if easy is available.
3. 0:24Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
4. 0:37Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
5. 0:52If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
6. 1:06Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7. 1:20Notice your breathing, without changing it.
8. 1:30Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
9. 1:42Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
10. 1:55Think of the calm of not wanting more this minute as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
11. 2:14Feel the weight of the settled feeling after striving somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
12. 2:31Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
13. 2:42Stay with it.
14. 2:50Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
15. 3:03Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
16. 3:16Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
17. 3:27A short silence. Let it be empty.
18. 3:37You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
19. 3:50If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
20. 4:04Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
21. 4:20Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
22. 4:31Give the enough-ness of right now a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
23. 4:49Let the exhale carry a little of the calm of not wanting more this minute with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
24. 5:10Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
25. 5:23If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
26. 5:36If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
27. 5:49A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
28. 6:00Nothing here needs to be efficient.
29. 6:10Let your shoulders come back up to their usual place, if they want to.
30. 6:24Take a moment to notice you did this for yourself. That's not nothing.
31. 6:37Let the pause stretch out.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.