Mindfulness: 20-minute gratitude meditation, at the end of the day

About this practice

20 minutes to meet mindfulness with less of a fight. A gratitude practice, at the end of the day. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: mindfulness

Attention spends most of its time in the past or the future. Being present is not a state you find, it is a return you keep making.

It tends to show up as:

• Missing conversations while composing replies
• Arriving somewhere with no memory of the walk
• Eating without tasting

Every return to the senses is a repetition of the actual skill. Losing it is part of the practice, not a break in it.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How gratitude works

Gratitude here is an attention practice, not a demand for a positive mood. Attention defaults to threats because they are urgent, so pleasant and ordinary things get skipped simply for being safe.

• Pick one ordinary thing rather than something impressive
• Stay with it for two breaths — depth beats length of list
• Do not aim at feeling grateful; aim at noticing

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice whether you're leaning forward. Most people are, slightly, all day.
2. 0:12Nothing here needs to be efficient.
3. 0:22You can let your eyes close now if they weren't already.
4. 0:34We'll be quiet for a bit longer than usual. Stay with whatever shows up.
5. 0:48Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
6. 1:01Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
7. 1:14Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
8. 1:27Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
9. 1:41Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
10. 1:53Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
11. 2:06Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
12. 2:18Give the present moment you keep leaving a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
13. 2:36Imagine softening the edges of the here-and-now your attention skips. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
14. 2:54Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
15. 3:08Each time your mind hands you the ordinary present tense, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
16. 3:27Notice the space around the present moment you keep leaving. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
17. 3:46Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
18. 4:00Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
19. 4:11You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
20. 4:24A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
21. 4:35If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
22. 4:46If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
23. 4:59A short silence. Let it be empty.
24. 5:09Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
25. 5:21We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
26. 5:35Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
27. 5:46Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
28. 5:59Let this be easy, if easy is available.
29. 6:10Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
30. 6:21If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
31. 6:36Small efforts are the whole method.
32. 6:46I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
33. 6:59If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
34. 7:12We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
35. 7:22Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
36. 7:34If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
37. 7:48Keep following the air.
38. 7:57Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
39. 8:11Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
40. 8:25Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
41. 8:35If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
42. 8:49Let the pause stretch out.
43. 8:58Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
44. 9:10Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
45. 9:21Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
46. 9:33Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
47. 9:44Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
48. 9:58Take the next breath slowly.
49. 10:07If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
50. 10:20Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
51. 10:32Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
52. 10:45Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
53. 10:57Stay here a little longer.
54. 11:06You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
55. 11:18A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
56. 11:29Feel your calves, front and back.
57. 11:39Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
58. 11:52Remain here for a few more breaths.
59. 12:02Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
60. 12:12Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
61. 12:26Let this one be unhurried.
62. 12:35Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
63. 12:47Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
64. 12:58Let it be this simple.
65. 13:07Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
66. 13:18Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
67. 13:31Let the quiet do its work.
68. 13:41Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
69. 13:52Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
70. 14:05A few seconds more.
71. 14:14Notice your breathing, without changing it.
72. 14:24Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
73. 14:37Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
74. 14:47Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
75. 14:59Notice how the here-and-now your attention skips changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
76. 15:16Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
77. 15:27If the ordinary present tense starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
78. 15:43Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
79. 15:57Whatever the present moment you keep leaving is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
80. 16:13Picture the here-and-now your attention skips as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
81. 16:32Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
82. 16:46There is no correct amount of the ordinary present tense to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
83. 17:04You have been carrying the present moment you keep leaving for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
84. 17:25Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
85. 17:40Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
86. 17:52Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
87. 18:05Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
88. 18:17No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
89. 18:28There's no need to try harder than this.
90. 18:39Nothing changes for a moment.
91. 18:48Take one breath that's a little fuller than the others, and let it out through your mouth.
92. 19:03Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.