Mindfulness: 12-minute softening meditation, at the end of the day

About this practice

When mindfulness shows up at the end of the day, this 12-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: mindfulness

Attention spends most of its time in the past or the future. Being present is not a state you find, it is a return you keep making.

It tends to show up as:

• Missing conversations while composing replies
• Arriving somewhere with no memory of the walk
• Eating without tasting

Every return to the senses is a repetition of the actual skill. Losing it is part of the practice, not a break in it.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Your breathing doesn't have to change yet. Let it be whatever size it currently is.
2. 0:14If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
3. 0:29Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
4. 0:44We'll start broad and narrow down. Nothing sudden is coming.
5. 0:56Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
6. 1:09Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
7. 1:22Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
8. 1:33Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
9. 1:45Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
10. 1:57Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
11. 2:10the present moment you keep leaving may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
12. 2:28Notice where the here-and-now your attention skips lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
13. 2:46Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
14. 2:59If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
15. 3:14With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
16. 3:29I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
17. 3:42Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
18. 3:56We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
19. 4:10Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
20. 4:21If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
21. 4:34Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
22. 4:47Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
23. 4:58If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
24. 5:13Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
25. 5:27Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
26. 5:37Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
27. 5:50Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
28. 6:04Keep following the air.
29. 6:13Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
30. 6:27Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
31. 6:40No need to open your eyes yet.
32. 6:50Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
33. 7:02Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
34. 7:17No rush to move on.
35. 7:26Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
36. 7:38Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
37. 7:52A few seconds more.
38. 8:01Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
39. 8:13Give the ordinary present tense a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
40. 8:30A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
41. 8:41If the present moment you keep leaving is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
42. 8:59Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
43. 9:10You do not have to win against the here-and-now your attention skips. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
44. 9:28You do not have to solve the ordinary present tense in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
45. 9:47Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
46. 9:58If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
47. 10:11Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
48. 10:22Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
49. 10:34Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
50. 10:48Let the quiet do its work.
51. 10:58Notice whether you feel any different. If not, that's also normal.
52. 11:10Notice the room again: the sounds, the temperature, the light.
53. 11:22Remain here for a few more breaths.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.