Meditation for loneliness: 7-minute letting go session, in a waiting room

About this practice

7 minutes to meet loneliness with less of a fight. A letting go practice, in a waiting room. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: loneliness

Loneliness registers in the body much like physical pain. It raises vigilance and lowers the threshold for reading neutral things as rejection.

It tends to show up as:

• The quiet of the house feeling loud
• Feeling unseen even in company
• Assuming you are an inconvenience

A guided voice in the room does not replace company, but it does reduce the sense of being entirely on your own with it.

Doing this in a waiting room

• You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are
• Nothing here needs to look like a meditation
• Aim for steadiness rather than calm

Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your tongue rest down, away from the roof of your mouth.
2. 0:13Small efforts are the whole method.
3. 0:23Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
4. 0:37Notice whether your breathing is high in your chest or low in your belly. Just notice. No fixing.
5. 0:53Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:07Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
7. 1:20Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
8. 1:32Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
9. 1:43Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
10. 1:55Whatever the ache of isolation is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
11. 2:10There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
12. 2:28Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
13. 2:40Take the next breath slowly.
14. 2:49Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
15. 3:02Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
16. 3:14Nothing here needs to be efficient.
17. 3:24If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
18. 3:37No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
19. 3:48We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
20. 3:58If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
21. 4:12Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
22. 4:24Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
23. 4:35Imagine the sense of being unseen as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
24. 4:53Imagine softening the edges of the ache of isolation. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
25. 5:10Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
26. 5:25If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
27. 5:38Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
28. 5:49I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
29. 6:02There's no need to try harder than this.
30. 6:13Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
31. 6:23Notice your feet on the floor. That's where you start from.
32. 6:35Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.