Meditation for anger: 10-minute letting go session, in the evening

About this practice

10 minutes to meet anger with less of a fight. A letting go practice, in the evening. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: anger

Anger is a fast, full-body response. Blood moves to the hands and jaw, heart rate climbs sharply, and reasoning comes back online several minutes later.

It tends to show up as:

• Heat in the chest and face
• The urge to speak before thinking
• A clenched jaw or fists

The physical peak passes in about ninety seconds if it is not fed. Slow breathing uses those seconds rather than spending them.

Doing this in the evening

• Dim the lights first — bright light works against the point
• Put the phone in another room
• Keep it slow rather than interesting

Something too engaging will wake you up rather than wind you down.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00You don't have to empty your mind. Nobody has ever managed that, including the people who wrote the instructions.
2. 0:16Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
3. 0:32Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
4. 0:45Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
5. 0:58Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
6. 1:12Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
7. 1:26Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
8. 1:36Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
9. 1:47Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
10. 1:59Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
11. 2:12You are allowed to be unimpressed by the heat rising in your chest. Indifference is a legitimate response.
12. 2:28Each time your mind hands you the urge to snap, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
13. 2:47If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
14. 3:00With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
15. 3:15Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
16. 3:27If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
17. 3:41You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
18. 3:56Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
19. 4:07If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
20. 4:20Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
21. 4:36Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
22. 4:47Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
23. 5:00No rush to move on.
24. 5:09Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
25. 5:20Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
26. 5:33Take the next breath slowly.
27. 5:42Feel your calves, front and back.
28. 5:52Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
29. 6:05Remain here for a few more breaths.
30. 6:15Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
31. 6:27Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
32. 6:40Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
33. 6:50Notice how the white-hot moment before you speak changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
34. 7:07You do not have to like the heat rising in your chest to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
35. 7:24Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
36. 7:40This is not the last time the urge to snap will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
37. 7:59Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
38. 8:13If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
39. 8:24I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
40. 8:36Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
41. 8:51Just the breath, still.
42. 9:00Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
43. 9:13Roll your neck once, slowly, in whichever direction feels good.
44. 9:25Stay with it.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.