Letting go for sleep: 20 minutes, before public speaking

About this practice

20 minutes to meet sleep with less of a fight. A letting go practice, before public speaking. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sleep

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up.

It tends to show up as:

Getting a second wind at bedtime
Mind starting up as soon as the light goes off
Sleep arriving much later than you intended

The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Doing this before public speaking

Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed
Slow the exhale deliberately and check your speaking pace after
Warm the voice by reading a line aloud, not by staying silent

Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00If your legs are crossed, uncross them. Small changes count.
0:12We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
0:27Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
0:41For the next few minutes, the only job is to notice what's already happening.
0:55Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
1:08Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
1:22Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
1:32Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
1:43Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
1:55Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
2:07Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
2:19Think of the day folding itself up as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
2:37You are allowed to be unimpressed by the quiet your mind keeps postponing. Indifference is a legitimate response.
2:53Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
3:06Give the heaviness your body already knows a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
3:24Notice the space around the day folding itself up. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
3:42Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
3:57If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
4:11Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
4:27A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
4:38If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
4:53With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
5:08No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
5:19Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
5:33You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
5:48A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
5:59Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
6:12Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
6:28A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
6:39Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
6:52Stay with it.
7:00Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
7:13Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
7:26Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
7:38Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
7:51Just the breath, still.
8:00Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
8:11Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
8:23Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
8:34If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
8:48Nothing changes for a moment.
8:57Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
9:10Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9:23Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
9:35Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
9:47Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
9:57Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
10:08I'll step back. You stay here.
10:18Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
10:30Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
10:46Let it be this simple.
10:55Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
11:06Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
11:17Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
11:27Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
11:41Keep following the air.
11:50If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
12:05I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
12:17Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
12:31Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
12:44No need to open your eyes yet.
12:54Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
13:07Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
13:20Remain here for a few more breaths.
13:30Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
13:41Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
13:54Let your body keep settling.
14:03Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
14:14Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
14:28Let the pause stretch out.
14:37Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
14:49If the quiet your mind keeps postponing has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
15:07I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
15:20If the heaviness your body already knows starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
15:37Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
15:50Picture the day folding itself up as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
16:09Let the quiet your mind keeps postponing be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
16:29Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
16:40Notice where the heaviness your body already knows lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
16:59Each time your mind hands you the day folding itself up, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
17:18Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
17:30Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
17:42Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
17:54If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
18:08Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
18:19Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
18:34Let this one be unhurried.
18:43Notice whether you feel any different. If not, that's also normal.
18:55Stand up when you're ready. The list hasn't grown while you were here.
19:08No rush to move on.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up. The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Where and when should I do this one?

Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed. Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.