Gratitude for contentment: 20 minutes, on the way in

About this practice

20 minutes to meet contentment with less of a fight. A gratitude practice, on the way in. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: contentment

Contentment is the absence of the next want, not the presence of everything. It lasts only as long as the wanting pauses.

It tends to show up as:

• Arriving without enjoying the arrival
• Immediately wanting the next thing
• Rest feeling unearned

Not wanting more for a few minutes is a trainable state, and it is available without acquiring anything.

Doing this on your commute

• Headphones on, eyes open or closed depending on your comfort
• Keep one part of your attention on your stop
• Do it standing if sitting is not possible — nobody is watching

Commuting time is already dead time. Nothing is being given up.

How gratitude works

Gratitude here is an attention practice, not a demand for a positive mood. Attention defaults to threats because they are urgent, so pleasant and ordinary things get skipped simply for being safe.

• Pick one ordinary thing rather than something impressive
• Stay with it for two breaths — depth beats length of list
• Do not aim at feeling grateful; aim at noticing

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Start with the noise that is already in the room. We are not going to try to remove it yet.
2. 0:17There is no need to feel grateful. Just look, and see what is actually there.
3. 0:31Now let your attention move from the room into your body, slowly, the way you'd move through a doorway you know well.
4. 0:49Notice your own pulse somewhere. Wrist, throat, wherever you can find it.
5. 1:02Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
6. 1:16Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
7. 1:29Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
8. 1:41Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
9. 1:54Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
10. 2:06Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
11. 2:19Feel the tops of your thighs.
12. 2:29Imagine softening the edges of the settled feeling after striving. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
13. 2:47You do not have to win against the enough-ness of right now. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
14. 3:05Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
15. 3:18Notice where the calm of not wanting more this minute lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
16. 3:37Picture the settled feeling after striving as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
17. 3:56Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
18. 4:10If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
19. 4:23Let it be unimpressive. Small good things are the most reliable ones.
20. 4:36No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
21. 4:47If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
22. 5:01If nothing comes, notice that something did not go wrong. That also counts.
23. 5:14A short silence. Let it be empty.
24. 5:24Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
25. 5:36Pick one ordinary thing from today — a warm drink, a dry walk, a message — and let it count.
26. 5:53Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
27. 6:04You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
28. 6:16Stay with it for two breaths. Gratitude deepens by staying, not by listing.
29. 6:29Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
30. 6:39Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
31. 6:52Let the pause stretch out.
32. 7:01Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
33. 7:15Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
34. 7:27Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
35. 7:38Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
36. 7:49Just the breath, still.
37. 7:58Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
38. 8:09Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
39. 8:22A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
40. 8:33If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
41. 8:47Nothing changes for a moment.
42. 8:56Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
43. 9:09Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
44. 9:22Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
45. 9:33Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
46. 9:46Let your body keep settling.
47. 9:55Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
48. 10:08I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
49. 10:20Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
50. 10:32Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
51. 10:46Take the next breath slowly.
52. 10:55Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
53. 11:07Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
54. 11:19Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
55. 11:29Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
56. 11:42Stay with it.
57. 11:50Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
58. 12:02I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
59. 12:15Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
60. 12:27Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
61. 12:41Stay here a little longer.
62. 12:50Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
63. 13:02Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
64. 13:15No rush to move on.
65. 13:24Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
66. 13:35Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
67. 13:48A few seconds more.
68. 13:57Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
69. 14:09Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
70. 14:23Let the quiet do its work.
71. 14:33Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
72. 14:44Think of the enough-ness of right now as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
73. 15:02Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
74. 15:14When the calm of not wanting more this minute arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
75. 15:34If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
76. 15:48You have been carrying the settled feeling after striving for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
77. 16:08If the enough-ness of right now starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
78. 16:25Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
79. 16:36You do not have to solve the calm of not wanting more this minute in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
80. 16:57Give the settled feeling after striving a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
81. 17:15Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
82. 17:28If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
83. 17:42Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
84. 17:53Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
85. 18:07A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
86. 18:18We are not forcing positivity. We are just noticing what went right, however small.
87. 18:32Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
88. 18:42Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
89. 18:55Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
90. 19:05Let this one be unhurried.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.