Frustration: 5-minute softening meditation, before public speaking

About this practice

When frustration shows up before public speaking, this 5-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: frustration

Frustration is blocked progress, repeated. Each small obstruction adds to a background irritation that eventually has nothing to do with the original cause.

It tends to show up as:

• Sighing more than usual
• Everything feeling slightly too slow
• A short fuse over minor things

Releasing some physical tension interrupts the accumulation. Frustration is often held in the jaw and hands more than it is thought about.

Doing this before public speaking

• Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed
• Slow the exhale deliberately and check your speaking pace after
• Warm the voice by reading a line aloud, not by staying silent

Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Drop your attention from your head into your chest for a second.
2. 0:13Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
3. 0:27For the next few minutes, the only job is to notice what's already happening.
4. 0:41Settle into the fact that for the next few minutes, nothing is required of you.
5. 0:55Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
6. 1:08Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7. 1:22Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
8. 1:34Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
9. 1:46Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
10. 1:58Let it be this simple.
11. 2:07If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
12. 2:22If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
13. 2:37Let the exhale carry a little of the jaw tight with frustration with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
14. 2:56If the annoyance that will not settle is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
15. 3:14Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
16. 3:28If you catch yourself fighting the repeated small irritations, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
17. 3:45Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
18. 3:57I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
19. 4:09We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
20. 4:23When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
21. 4:36No need to open your eyes yet.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.