Frustration: 10-minute gratitude meditation, before public speaking

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for frustration. A gratitude session you can do before public speaking. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: frustration

Frustration is blocked progress, repeated. Each small obstruction adds to a background irritation that eventually has nothing to do with the original cause.

It tends to show up as:

• Sighing more than usual
• Everything feeling slightly too slow
• A short fuse over minor things

Releasing some physical tension interrupts the accumulation. Frustration is often held in the jaw and hands more than it is thought about.

Doing this before public speaking

• Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed
• Slow the exhale deliberately and check your speaking pace after
• Warm the voice by reading a line aloud, not by staying silent

Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

How gratitude works

Gratitude here is an attention practice, not a demand for a positive mood. Attention defaults to threats because they are urgent, so pleasant and ordinary things get skipped simply for being safe.

• Pick one ordinary thing rather than something impressive
• Stay with it for two breaths — depth beats length of list
• Do not aim at feeling grateful; aim at noticing

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your next exhale be a sigh, if a sigh is what's waiting there.
2. 0:14If nothing comes, notice that something did not go wrong. That also counts.
3. 0:27This is not a performance. Nobody is listening to how well you're doing it.
4. 0:41Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
5. 0:54Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
6. 1:08Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
7. 1:19Feel your calves, front and back.
8. 1:29Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
9. 1:40Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
10. 1:52Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
11. 2:04Notice the space around the annoyance that will not settle. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
12. 2:23If the repeated small irritations shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
13. 2:43If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
14. 2:58We are not forcing positivity. We are just noticing what went right, however small.
15. 3:12A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
16. 3:23If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
17. 3:37Stay with it for two breaths. Gratitude deepens by staying, not by listing.
18. 3:50Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
19. 4:02Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
20. 4:14Pick one ordinary thing from today — a warm drink, a dry walk, a message — and let it count.
21. 4:31Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
22. 4:42Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
23. 4:55Keep following the air.
24. 5:04Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
25. 5:14Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
26. 5:27Stay here a little longer.
27. 5:36Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
28. 5:48Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
29. 6:02Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
30. 6:12Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
31. 6:25Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
32. 6:38Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
33. 6:49Each time your mind hands you the jaw tight with frustration, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
34. 7:08If you catch yourself fighting the annoyance that will not settle, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
35. 7:26Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
36. 7:39You have been carrying the repeated small irritations for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
37. 7:59If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
38. 8:12Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
39. 8:24Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
40. 8:34There is no need to feel grateful. Just look, and see what is actually there.
41. 8:48Just the breath, still.
42. 8:57Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
43. 9:12Let your shoulders come back up to their usual place, if they want to.
44. 9:26Let your body keep settling.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.