Falling asleep: 10-minute letting go meditation, in the queue

About this practice

A 10-minute letting go session for falling asleep, in the queue. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

Watching the clock
Getting frustrated at being awake
Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this in a waiting room

You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are
Nothing here needs to look like a meditation
Aim for steadiness rather than calm

Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Start with the noise that is already in the room. We are not going to try to remove it yet.
0:17Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
0:33If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
0:48Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
1:01Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
1:14Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
1:27Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
1:39Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
1:52Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
2:04Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
2:14Give the thoughts that keep the light on a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
2:33the surrender at the end of the day may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
2:52Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
3:04We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
3:19I'll step back. You stay here.
3:29If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
3:42Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
3:57Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
4:08Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
4:22You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
4:37A short silence. Let it be empty.
4:47Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
5:01No need to open your eyes yet.
5:11Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
5:25Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
5:41Let the pause stretch out.
5:50Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
6:02Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
6:14No rush to move on.
6:23Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
6:35Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
6:48I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
7:00If the slow drift toward sleep is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
7:17You have been carrying the thoughts that keep the light on for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
7:38Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
7:53If you catch yourself fighting the surrender at the end of the day, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
8:12Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
8:24If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
8:37Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
8:47Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
9:03Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
9:13Take your time opening your eyes. Nothing is waiting urgently.
9:25Let your eyes open when they're ready, not when the words end.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal. Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Where and when should I do this one?

You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are. Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

What actually happens during the 10 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.