5-minute softening meditation for falling asleep, at the end of the day

About this practice

5 minutes to meet falling asleep with less of a fight. A softening practice, at the end of the day. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

• Watching the clock
• Getting frustrated at being awake
• Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Take one breath that is slightly slower than the last one. That is enough to start.
2. 0:15We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:25If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
4. 0:40Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
5. 0:54Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
6. 1:05Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
7. 1:18Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
8. 1:30Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9. 1:43Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
10. 1:55A few seconds more.
11. 2:04No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
12. 2:15There's no need to try harder than this.
13. 2:26If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
14. 2:40Feel the weight of the surrender at the end of the day somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
15. 2:58You do not have to solve the slow drift toward sleep in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
16. 3:17Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
17. 3:30Let the exhale carry a little of the thoughts that keep the light on with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
18. 3:50If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
19. 4:04Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
20. 4:16Small efforts are the whole method.
21. 4:26Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.
22. 4:40No rush to move on.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.