5-minute self-compassion meditation for irritability, in the hour before an interview

About this practice

5 minutes to meet irritability with less of a fight. A self-compassion practice, in the hour before an interview. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: irritability

Irritability is usually a depleted state, not a personality trait. When reserves are low, ordinary friction feels like an attack.

It tends to show up as:

• Snapping over small things
• Wanting to be left alone
• Noise feeling physically louder

This is a low-reserve state, so anything effortful will make it worse. Short and gentle is the correct dose.

Doing this before an interview

• Do it where you will not be interrupted, even if that is a stairwell
• Have the first sentence of your answer ready afterwards
• Keep it short — there is no time for a long session

Nerves before an interview are normal and not something to eliminate. You need access to what you know, nothing more.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Keep your eyes open if you like, resting on one point of the floor a metre or two ahead.
2. 0:16Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
3. 0:32Let your body feel heavier than it did a minute ago. Let the chair or the floor take it.
4. 0:48We'll be quiet for a bit longer than usual. Stay with whatever shows up.
5. 1:02Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
6. 1:16Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
7. 1:29Notice your breathing, without changing it.
8. 1:39Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
9. 1:51Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
10. 2:03Keep following the air.
11. 2:12Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
12. 2:28If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
13. 2:41You do not have to like the snap that comes from nowhere to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
14. 2:58You have been carrying the low grumble of being easily annoyed for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
15. 3:19Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
16. 3:32Picture the short fuse after a long day as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
17. 3:51Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
18. 4:03Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
19. 4:15Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
20. 4:30Take your time opening your eyes. Nothing is waiting urgently.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.