20-minute self-compassion meditation for sleep, on

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for sleep. A self-compassion session you can do on a day off. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sleep

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up.

It tends to show up as:

Getting a second wind at bedtime
Mind starting up as soon as the light goes off
Sleep arriving much later than you intended

The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Doing this on a rest day

Do it without a reason or a target
Later in the day, unhurried, in good light
Let it be longer than usual if you want

Rest that has to be justified is not really rest. This one is allowed to be pointless.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
Ask what you need, not what you deserve
A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Begin with the simple fact that you got here. That already happened.
0:13The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
0:28Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
0:42Settle into the fact that for the next few minutes, nothing is required of you.
0:56Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
1:11Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
1:22Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
1:34Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
1:47Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
2:01Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
2:14Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
2:28You do not have to like the heaviness your body already knows to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
2:45Imagine the day folding itself up as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
3:03Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
3:14Feel the weight of the quiet your mind keeps postponing somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
3:31Picture the heaviness your body already knows as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
3:50Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
4:04If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
4:17Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
4:32I'll step back. You stay here.
4:42Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
4:54You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
5:07I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
5:20Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
5:33Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
5:49A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
6:00Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
6:13Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
6:27A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
6:38If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
6:52Remain here for a few more breaths.
7:02If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
7:16Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
7:27Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
7:39If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
7:54Keep following the air.
8:03Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
8:14Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
8:25Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
8:37If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
8:50A few seconds more.
8:59Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
9:12Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
9:24Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
9:35No rush to move on.
9:44If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
9:57Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
10:09Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
10:20Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
10:33Let your body keep settling.
10:42If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
10:56Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
11:07Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
11:19Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
11:33Stay here a little longer.
11:42If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
11:57Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
12:07Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
12:19Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
12:33Let this one be unhurried.
12:42Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
12:55Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
13:11No need to open your eyes yet.
13:21Feel the tops of your thighs.
13:31Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
13:45Let the quiet do its work.
13:55Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
14:08Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
14:22Take the next breath slowly.
14:31Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
14:43You have been carrying the day folding itself up for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
15:03Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
15:15If you catch yourself fighting the quiet your mind keeps postponing, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
15:33Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
15:46When the heaviness your body already knows presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
16:06Let the exhale carry a little of the day folding itself up with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
16:25Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
16:38Notice the space around the quiet your mind keeps postponing. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
16:57Notice where the heaviness your body already knows lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
17:16Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
17:29Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
17:41Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
17:54Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
18:06A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
18:17Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
18:33Nothing changes for a moment.
18:42When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
18:55Stand up when you're ready. The list hasn't grown while you were here.
19:08Stay with it.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up. The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Where and when should I do this one?

Do it without a reason or a target. Rest that has to be justified is not really rest. This one is allowed to be pointless.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.