10-minute guided breathing practice for loneliness — at the airport

About this practice

When loneliness shows up at the airport, this 10-minute breathing session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: loneliness

Loneliness registers in the body much like physical pain. It raises vigilance and lowers the threshold for reading neutral things as rejection.

It tends to show up as:

• The quiet of the house feeling loud
• Feeling unseen even in company
• Assuming you are an inconvenience

A guided voice in the room does not replace company, but it does reduce the sense of being entirely on your own with it.

Doing this on a plane

• Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
• Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
• Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your shoulders drop about a centimetre. That is roughly where most of us keep the day.
2. 0:15Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
3. 0:29Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
4. 0:43Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
5. 0:56Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
6. 1:07Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
7. 1:20Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
8. 1:32Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
9. 1:44Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
10. 1:56Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
11. 2:07Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the ache of isolation is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
12. 2:26If you catch yourself fighting the hollow feeling when the house is quiet, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
13. 2:45Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
14. 2:58Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
15. 3:12Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
16. 3:24You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
17. 3:36Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
18. 3:52Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
19. 4:03If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
20. 4:16If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
21. 4:32Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
22. 4:43Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
23. 4:55Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
24. 5:08Stay with it.
25. 5:16Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
26. 5:29Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
27. 5:43Let this one be unhurried.
28. 5:52Feel the tops of your thighs.
29. 6:02Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
30. 6:18Remain here for a few more breaths.
31. 6:28Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
32. 6:40Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
33. 6:51I'll step back. You stay here.
34. 7:01Notice the space around the sense of being unseen. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
35. 7:19You are allowed to be unimpressed by the ache of isolation. Indifference is a legitimate response.
36. 7:34Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
37. 7:46Feel the weight of the hollow feeling when the house is quiet somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
38. 8:04Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
39. 8:15If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
40. 8:26I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
41. 8:38There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
42. 8:53Let the quiet do its work.
43. 9:03Roll your neck once, slowly, in whichever direction feels good.
44. 9:15Start to notice the edges of your body again, and the surface you're on.
45. 9:29Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.