Tight box breathing after a difficult conversation

How it works

Breathe in for 4, hold for 1, out for 4, hold for 1. Picture tracing the sides of a square. That is the whole exercise. Difficult conversations leave a residue. This is for the residue. Let the physical world hold your attention.

Why it can help

The rhythm is deliberately unremarkable. Unremarkable is easier to keep up when your hands are shaking.

The pattern, in seconds

One round is 10 seconds. At the default 10 rounds this practice runs 100 seconds — about 1 minute — plus a breath or two of ordinary breathing between rounds.

Good for

• when you are the only person awake in the house
• in the car, parked, before you go inside
• after an argument, before you decide what to say next

Tips

• Do it with your shoulders still. The movement should be in your ribs and belly.
• If you wear a watch that tracks breathing, ignore it while you do this.
• If holding for the full count feels tight, drop every number by one. The shape matters more than the size.

Please note

If holding your breath makes you dizzy or uncomfortable, skip the holds entirely and breathe slowly and evenly instead. Never push through lightheadedness. If you are pregnant, or manage a heart, blood pressure or lung condition, check with a doctor before doing breath holds.