Breathing exercise · 5 · 5 · 5 · 5
Slow box breathing exercise for a hard conversation — after a difficult conversation
Rounds of 5 · 5 · 5 · 5, with the counting done for you.
Follow the circle. It counts for you.
How it works
Count to 5 on the way in, 5 at the top, 5 on the way out, 5 at the bottom. Repeat. Difficult conversations leave a residue. This is for the residue. Simple things first: contact, weight, temperature.
Why it can help
The pattern occupies the part of your mind that would otherwise be rehearsing the worst case.
The pattern, in seconds
| Phase | Length | Starts at |
|---|---|---|
| Inhale | 5s | 0s |
| Hold | 5s | 5s |
| Exhale | 5s | 10s |
| Hold again | 5s | 15s |
One round is 20 seconds. At the default 10 rounds this practice runs 200 seconds — about 3 minutes — plus a breath or two of ordinary breathing between rounds.
Good for
- when you have read the same paragraph three times
- when the day has been fine but you still feel braced
- after an argument, before you decide what to say next
Tips
- Do not chase the feeling. If nothing happens, nothing happened.
- Set a timer for the rounds you want, so you are not watching the clock.
- Never push through a hold. Coming out of it early is always the right call.
Please note
If holding your breath makes you dizzy or uncomfortable, skip the holds entirely and breathe slowly and evenly instead. Never push through lightheadedness. If you are pregnant, or manage a heart, blood pressure or lung condition, check with a doctor before doing breath holds.
If this rhythm does not suit you, try Double-inhale sigh for the early months, on a low-energy afternoon, Box breathing — 4 · 4 · 4 · 4 — for a hospital waiting room, when the weather has kept you inside or Box breathing exercise for Monday morning — before something difficult.