A bus at night (a sleep story), before something difficult — for a racing mind

The city goes past below you, shopfronts and bus stops and people waiting for other buses. Outside, someone is walking a dog that does not want to be out. Your ticket is on the seat beside you, already used.

The heating comes through the floor and makes your feet warm. You are on the top deck of the last bus, in the front seat, with the whole window to yourself. A streetlight passes across the ceiling every few seconds.

Feel your heels sink a little into the mattress. Feel the top of your head relax into the pillow.

Let your forearms get heavy and warm. Let the pillow take the whole weight of your head.

The lights inside are the dim blue kind that buses use at night. There are four other people downstairs and nobody up here.

Let the back of your neck lengthen out. Your fingers can stop doing anything at all.

Let your breathing get slower without deciding to slow it. Let your lower back sink down into the mattress.

The driver takes the corners slowly, as if the bus were full. You do not have to get off for another twenty minutes.

Let your feet get heavy first. Heavier than they need to be. Feel your heartbeat somewhere far away.

The bus stops and starts with a slow, heavy movement. There is a long stretch of road ahead with nothing on it.

Let the mattress take all of it. Let the space between your eyebrows smooth out.

Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts. Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.

Feel the weight of the blanket on your legs. Now feel your whole body at once, lying here, being held up.

Let the room get slightly further away. Slower.

Let each breath be a little smaller than the last. Let your attention settle somewhere low, like your feet. Nothing here needs following closely.

Let them. Nothing needs deciding tonight. Stay.

It works best in the hour before something difficult.

That is the end of the story. Sleep is the next part, and it does not need instructions.