Waking up: 10-minute self-compassion meditation, between calls

About this practice

10 minutes to meet waking up with less of a fight. A self-compassion practice, between calls. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: waking up

On waking, the brain passes through a slow transition rather than switching on. Rushing it leaves you foggy for the first hour.

It tends to show up as:

• Needing a long time to feel awake
• Foggy, irritable mornings
• The day starting before you are ready

Giving the body a few unhurried minutes at the start changes the tone of everything that follows.

Doing this between meetings

• Start it in the gap, not after the next one begins
• Write down the open thread from the last meeting first, then let it go
• Two minutes done beats five minutes planned

The back-to-back day is exactly why the gap has to be protected rather than used for one more task.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the temperature of the air on the backs of your hands.
2. 0:13The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
3. 0:28We're going to let the body lead and the mind follow for a while.
4. 0:42Let your body feel heavier than it did a minute ago. Let the chair or the floor take it.
5. 0:58Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:12Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
7. 1:26Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
8. 1:38Feel your calves, front and back.
9. 1:48Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
10. 1:59Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
11. 2:12Imagine softening the edges of the slow start of the day. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
12. 2:30You do not have to like the fog of just-woken to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
13. 2:46Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
14. 2:58Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
15. 3:13Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
16. 3:24If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
17. 3:38You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
18. 3:51Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
19. 4:02If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
20. 4:15Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
21. 4:31Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
22. 4:41If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
23. 4:54Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
24. 5:06A few seconds more.
25. 5:15Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
26. 5:27Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
27. 5:38No need to open your eyes yet.
28. 5:48Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
29. 5:59Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
30. 6:13Let it be this simple.
31. 6:22Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
32. 6:34Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
33. 6:48No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
34. 6:59There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
35. 7:17You do not have to solve the slow start of the day in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
36. 7:37Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
37. 7:51Notice how the fog of just-woken changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
38. 8:07If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
39. 8:19If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
40. 8:32Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
41. 8:44Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
42. 9:00Nothing changes for a moment.
43. 9:09Let the quiet end on its own rather than cutting it off.
44. 9:22Come back slowly. There's no prize for finishing fast.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.