Self-compassion meditation for being present (20 min), when it all piles up

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 20 minutes of self-compassion for being present, when it all piles up. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: being present

Life happens in the present while attention is busy elsewhere. Nothing is missing except the noticing.

It tends to show up as:

• Days blurring together
• Feeling absent from your own week
• Only registering moments in photographs

Sensory attention is the shortest route back. Sound, contact and breath are always in the present.

Doing this when you are overwhelmed

• Do not decide priorities during it
• Pick the shortest session available here
• When you finish, write down the first physical action on paper

The pile looks less like a pile once the alarm stops ringing. Sort it after, not during.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your eyes soften. Not closed, just less busy.
2. 0:11Let this be easy, if easy is available.
3. 0:22Notice the weight of your arms without moving them.
4. 0:33Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
5. 0:46Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
6. 0:59Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
7. 1:12Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
8. 1:23Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9. 1:36Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
10. 1:49Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
11. 2:01Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
12. 2:13There is no correct amount of the texture of this exact moment to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
13. 2:32If you catch yourself fighting the wandering back to now, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
14. 2:50Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
15. 3:06Imagine softening the edges of the life happening while you worry. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
16. 3:24If the texture of this exact moment has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
17. 3:42Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
18. 3:53Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
19. 4:06We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
20. 4:16A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
21. 4:27Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
22. 4:41You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
23. 4:54A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
24. 5:05If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
25. 5:19Small efforts are the whole method.
26. 5:29Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
27. 5:41If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
28. 5:54There's no need to try harder than this.
29. 6:05I'll step back. You stay here.
30. 6:15If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
31. 6:30Nothing here needs to be efficient.
32. 6:40Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
33. 6:51You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
34. 7:03We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
35. 7:17Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
36. 7:29Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
37. 7:41Let it be this simple.
38. 7:50Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
39. 8:03Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
40. 8:15A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
41. 8:26If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
42. 8:39Just the breath, still.
43. 8:48Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
44. 8:59Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
45. 9:11Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
46. 9:21If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
47. 9:35Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
48. 9:49Let this one be unhurried.
49. 9:58Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
50. 10:10Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
51. 10:21Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
52. 10:33Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
53. 10:46Nothing changes for a moment.
54. 10:55Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
55. 11:07Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
56. 11:19Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
57. 11:29Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
58. 11:41Take the next breath slowly.
59. 11:50Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
60. 12:04Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
61. 12:19Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
62. 12:29Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
63. 12:40Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
64. 12:52Remain here for a few more breaths.
65. 13:02Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
66. 13:15Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
67. 13:27Let the quiet do its work.
68. 13:37Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
69. 13:49Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
70. 14:02A few seconds more.
71. 14:11Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
72. 14:23Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
73. 14:35No rush to move on.
74. 14:44Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
75. 14:56When the wandering back to now arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
76. 15:15I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
77. 15:27Feel the weight of the life happening while you worry somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
78. 15:44Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
79. 15:58Let the exhale carry a little of the texture of this exact moment with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
80. 16:18Notice the space around the wandering back to now. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
81. 16:36Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
82. 16:52Give the life happening while you worry a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
83. 17:10You have been carrying the texture of this exact moment for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
84. 17:31Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
85. 17:42If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
86. 17:55Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
87. 18:07Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
88. 18:18Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
89. 18:30If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
90. 18:43Stay with it.
91. 18:51Notice the room again: the sounds, the temperature, the light.
92. 19:03Come back slowly. There's no prize for finishing fast.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.