Self-compassion for deep work: 20 minutes, after a long day

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for deep work. A self-compassion session you can do after a long day. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: deep work

Deep work requires a low distraction floor. Modern work rarely provides one, so the transition into it has to be manufactured.

It tends to show up as:

• Getting interrupted every few minutes
• Starting five things and finishing none
• Feeling busy but not productive

A short deliberate transition tells the body the next stretch is different. Without one, the previous meeting follows you in.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice where your body touches the chair. That contact is doing more for you than it looks.
2. 0:15Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
3. 0:31We'll start broad and narrow down. Nothing sudden is coming.
4. 0:43Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
5. 0:58Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
6. 1:11Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
7. 1:23Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
8. 1:33Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
9. 1:45Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
10. 1:57Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
11. 2:10Feel the tops of your thighs.
12. 2:20Feel the weight of the task that needs a clear head somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
13. 2:38Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the open tabs of your attention is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
14. 2:57Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
15. 3:11Each time your mind hands you the pull of notifications, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
16. 3:30You do not have to solve the task that needs a clear head in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
17. 3:50Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
18. 4:01Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
19. 4:13You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
20. 4:26Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
21. 4:36Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
22. 4:49Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
23. 5:05Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
24. 5:17If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
25. 5:31Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
26. 5:46Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
27. 5:58Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
28. 6:10Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
29. 6:24Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
30. 6:35If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
31. 6:48No need to open your eyes yet.
32. 6:58Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
33. 7:09Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
34. 7:21A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
35. 7:32Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
36. 7:43Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
37. 7:53Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
38. 8:04Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
39. 8:16Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
40. 8:27Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
41. 8:39No rush to move on.
42. 8:48Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
43. 9:01Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
44. 9:13Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
45. 9:24You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
46. 9:36Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
47. 9:49Nothing changes for a moment.
48. 9:58Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
49. 10:11No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
50. 10:22Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
51. 10:34Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
52. 10:47Stay here a little longer.
53. 10:56If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
54. 11:11I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
55. 11:24Feel your calves, front and back.
56. 11:34Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
57. 11:47Let the quiet do its work.
58. 11:57If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
59. 12:10A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
60. 12:21Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
61. 12:32Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
62. 12:45Let this one be unhurried.
63. 12:54Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
64. 13:05Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
65. 13:18Stay with it.
66. 13:26Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
67. 13:38Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
68. 13:53Keep following the air.
69. 14:02Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
70. 14:14Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
71. 14:26Remain here for a few more breaths.
72. 14:36Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
73. 14:50Notice how the open tabs of your attention changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
74. 15:07Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
75. 15:18If the pull of notifications shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
76. 15:38Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
77. 15:50Let the task that needs a clear head be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
78. 16:11If you catch yourself fighting the open tabs of your attention, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
79. 16:29Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
80. 16:42Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
81. 16:59There is no correct amount of the task that needs a clear head to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
82. 17:18Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
83. 17:32If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
84. 17:44Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
85. 17:56Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
86. 18:10I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
87. 18:22The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
88. 18:37A few seconds more.
89. 18:46Let your jaw, shoulders and hands be loose as you finish.
90. 18:58Come back to the room through your senses, one at a time.
91. 19:11Take the next breath slowly.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.