Meditation for sleep: 5-minute self-compassion session, after a horrible day

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for sleep. A self-compassion session you can do after a horrible day. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sleep

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up.

It tends to show up as:

• Getting a second wind at bedtime
• Mind starting up as soon as the light goes off
• Sleep arriving much later than you intended

The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Doing this after a bad day

• Do not review the day during it — that is what tomorrow is for
• Something physical first, then this
• Keep it short and end it deliberately

A bad day does not need a verdict. Closing it without a post-mortem is allowed.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Put both feet flat on the floor and let them take some of the weight.
2. 0:14Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
3. 0:29We're going to move through the body in order, roughly from top to bottom.
4. 0:43We'll be quiet for a bit longer than usual. Stay with whatever shows up.
5. 0:57Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
6. 1:08Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
7. 1:20Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
8. 1:32Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
9. 1:43Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
10. 1:54Just the breath, still.
11. 2:03Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
12. 2:15Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
13. 2:29Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
14. 2:42Imagine softening the edges of the day folding itself up. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
15. 3:00When the quiet your mind keeps postponing arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
16. 3:19Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
17. 3:35You do not have to win against the heaviness your body already knows. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
18. 3:53Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
19. 4:04A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
20. 4:15Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
21. 4:31Before you open your eyes, notice how you feel compared to the start. It might be small.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.