Meditation for insomnia: 20-minute letting go session, after a horrible day

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for insomnia. A letting go session you can do after a horrible day. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: insomnia

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night.

It tends to show up as:

Dreading bedtime
Hours awake with a busy mind
Sleeping worse as the week goes on

Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Doing this after a bad day

Do not review the day during it — that is what tomorrow is for
Something physical first, then this
Keep it short and end it deliberately

A bad day does not need a verdict. Closing it without a post-mortem is allowed.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00You don't have to empty your mind. Nobody has ever managed that, including the people who wrote the instructions.
0:16Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
0:31Notice the pause at the end of each breath. It's short, but it's there.
0:45We'll work through this slowly. If you lose the thread, the thread will wait.
0:59Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
1:13Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
1:24Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
1:36Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
1:48Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
2:00Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
2:10Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
2:23Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the wide-awake mind at 2am is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
2:42Notice the space around the counting of hours until morning. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
3:01Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
3:14Notice where the frustration of not sleeping lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
3:32This is not the last time the wide-awake mind at 2am will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
3:51Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
4:05If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
4:18You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
4:33I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
4:45If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
4:59We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
5:14Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
5:26If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
5:40Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
5:56A short silence. Let it be empty.
6:06If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
6:19Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
6:35I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
6:48Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
7:00No rush to move on.
7:09Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
7:22Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
7:35Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
7:46Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
7:58Just the breath, still.
8:07Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
8:22Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
8:34A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
8:45Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
8:59Keep following the air.
9:08Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
9:22Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
9:34Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
9:45Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
9:59Stay here a little longer.
10:08If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
10:22Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
10:34Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
10:45Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
10:59Stay with it.
11:07If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
11:20I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
11:32Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
11:44Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
11:57A few seconds more.
12:06Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
12:18A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
12:29Feel the tops of your thighs.
12:39If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
12:53Let your body keep settling.
13:02Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
13:14Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
13:25Remain here for a few more breaths.
13:35Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
13:47Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
14:00Nothing changes for a moment.
14:09Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
14:21Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
14:34Take the next breath slowly.
14:43Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
14:55If the counting of hours until morning starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
15:12Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
15:23Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
15:40Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
15:54You have been carrying the wide-awake mind at 2am for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
16:14You are allowed to be unimpressed by the counting of hours until morning. Indifference is a legitimate response.
16:30Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
16:42When the frustration of not sleeping arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
17:01If the wide-awake mind at 2am shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
17:21Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
17:35Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
17:47If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
18:02If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
18:15Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
18:27With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
18:42Let it be this simple.
18:51When you're ready, look around properly.
19:01Notice the room again: the sounds, the temperature, the light.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night. Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Where and when should I do this one?

Do not review the day during it — that is what tomorrow is for. A bad day does not need a verdict. Closing it without a post-mortem is allowed.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.