Meditation for frustration: 20-minute breathing session, at lunch

About this practice

When frustration shows up at lunch, this 20-minute breathing session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: frustration

Frustration is blocked progress, repeated. Each small obstruction adds to a background irritation that eventually has nothing to do with the original cause.

It tends to show up as:

• Sighing more than usual
• Everything feeling slightly too slow
• A short fuse over minor things

Releasing some physical tension interrupts the accumulation. Frustration is often held in the jaw and hands more than it is thought about.

Doing this at lunch

• Do it before eating rather than after, so you are not working against digestion
• Leaving the desk matters more than the session length
• Take the headphones off afterwards so the break registers

A break that happens at the same desk is only half a break.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Part of you is still in the last conversation you had. That's fine. It can sit here too.
2. 0:16There's no need to try harder than this.
3. 0:27Let your attention rest on the out-breath. The in-breath can take care of itself.
4. 0:41We'll start broad and narrow down. Nothing sudden is coming.
5. 0:53Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
6. 1:06If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
7. 1:20Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
8. 1:32Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
9. 1:44Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
10. 1:55Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
11. 2:09Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
12. 2:20Imagine the repeated small irritations as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
13. 2:38You do not have to win against the jaw tight with frustration. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
14. 2:56Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
15. 3:09Nothing about the annoyance that will not settle has to be explained or justified in this room.
16. 3:24Whatever the repeated small irritations is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
17. 3:39Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
18. 3:52Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
19. 4:04You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
20. 4:17Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
21. 4:29If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
22. 4:43Let this be easy, if easy is available.
23. 4:54I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
24. 5:07You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
25. 5:19We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
26. 5:33Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
27. 5:43Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
28. 5:55Small efforts are the whole method.
29. 6:05No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
30. 6:16Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
31. 6:27Nothing here needs to be efficient.
32. 6:37Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
33. 6:48If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
34. 7:00If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
35. 7:13A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
36. 7:24If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
37. 7:37Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
38. 7:47Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
39. 8:00Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
40. 8:13A short silence. Let it be empty.
41. 8:23Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
42. 8:36Stay with it.
43. 8:44Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
44. 8:55Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
45. 9:08Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
46. 9:20Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
47. 9:33Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
48. 9:47Take the next breath slowly.
49. 9:56Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
50. 10:08I'll step back. You stay here.
51. 10:18Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
52. 10:30Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
53. 10:41Let the pause stretch out.
54. 10:50If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
55. 11:03A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
56. 11:14Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
57. 11:26Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
58. 11:39Remain here for a few more breaths.
59. 11:49Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
60. 12:00Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
61. 12:16Stay here a little longer.
62. 12:25Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
63. 12:37Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
64. 12:51Let the quiet do its work.
65. 13:01Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
66. 13:14Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
67. 13:28No rush to move on.
68. 13:37Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
69. 13:50Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
70. 14:04Let your body keep settling.
71. 14:13Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
72. 14:27Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
73. 14:38Nothing changes for a moment.
74. 14:47Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
75. 14:59Each time your mind hands you the jaw tight with frustration, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
76. 15:18Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
77. 15:30Let the exhale carry a little of the annoyance that will not settle with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
78. 15:50Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
79. 16:01Imagine softening the edges of the repeated small irritations. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
80. 16:18Notice the space around the jaw tight with frustration. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
81. 16:36Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
82. 16:49Notice how the annoyance that will not settle changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
83. 17:06Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the repeated small irritations is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
84. 17:25Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
85. 17:38If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
86. 17:53If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
87. 18:07If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
88. 18:21Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
89. 18:32We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
90. 18:42Let this one be unhurried.
91. 18:51Come back to the room through your senses, one at a time.
92. 19:04Take a moment to notice you did this for yourself. That's not nothing.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.