Meditation for feeling not good enough: 12-minute letting go session, before an appointment

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 12 minutes of letting go for feeling not good enough, before an appointment. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: feeling not good enough

This feeling is comparison-driven. The mind collects evidence against you and discards the rest, so the ledger never balances.

It tends to show up as:

• Measuring yourself against everyone visible
• Effort feeling insufficient
• A persistent sense of falling short

You cannot win the ledger. Stepping out of measuring entirely for a few minutes is more useful than winning the argument.

Doing this in a waiting room

• You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are
• Nothing here needs to look like a meditation
• Aim for steadiness rather than calm

Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your eyes soften. Not closed, just less busy.
2. 0:11There's no need to try harder than this.
3. 0:22Notice the weight of your arms without moving them.
4. 0:33Let the rhythm of your breathing set the pace, not the words.
5. 0:46Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
6. 0:59Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
7. 1:10Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
8. 1:23Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
9. 1:35Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
10. 1:46Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
11. 1:57There is no correct amount of the ache of falling short to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
12. 2:15When the comparison with everyone else presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
13. 2:34Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
14. 2:48If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
15. 3:01If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
16. 3:14Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
17. 3:26If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
18. 3:39We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
19. 3:53Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
20. 4:05If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
21. 4:19We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
22. 4:29A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
23. 4:40Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
24. 4:51Small efforts are the whole method.
25. 5:01I'll step back. You stay here.
26. 5:11If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
27. 5:24Let this be easy, if easy is available.
28. 5:35Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
29. 5:47No need to open your eyes yet.
30. 5:57Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
31. 6:10Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
32. 6:23Nothing changes for a moment.
33. 6:32Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
34. 6:44Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
35. 6:56Stay here a little longer.
36. 7:05Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
37. 7:17Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
38. 7:28Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
39. 7:38Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
40. 7:51Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
41. 8:03Let your body keep settling.
42. 8:12Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
43. 8:24You do not have to solve the evidence your mind collects against you in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
44. 8:44A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
45. 8:55Whatever the ache of falling short is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
46. 9:10Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
47. 9:23Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
48. 9:40Notice how the evidence your mind collects against you changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
49. 9:58Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
50. 10:12If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
51. 10:25If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
52. 10:36A short silence. Let it be empty.
53. 10:46Nothing here needs to be efficient.
54. 10:56Let it be this simple.
55. 11:05Before you move, notice one thing that's fine right now.
56. 11:17Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
57. 11:27Stay with it.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.