Letting go meditation for irritability (10 min), at your desk

About this practice

10 minutes to meet irritability with less of a fight. A letting go practice, at your desk. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: irritability

Irritability is usually a depleted state, not a personality trait. When reserves are low, ordinary friction feels like an attack.

It tends to show up as:

• Snapping over small things
• Wanting to be left alone
• Noise feeling physically louder

This is a low-reserve state, so anything effortful will make it worse. Short and gentle is the correct dose.

Doing this at your desk

• Feet flat, back supported, screen away from your eyeline
• You can do this with your eyes open if the office makes closing them awkward
• Unclench the jaw and drop the shoulders first, before anything else

Nobody needs to know you are doing it. Keep it invisible if that makes it possible.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Take one breath that is slightly slower than the last one. That is enough to start.
2. 0:15We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:25Notice your own pulse somewhere. Wrist, throat, wherever you can find it.
4. 0:38Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
5. 0:53Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
6. 1:07Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
7. 1:23Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
8. 1:34Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
9. 1:46Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
10. 1:58Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
11. 2:09There is no correct amount of the low grumble of being easily annoyed to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
12. 2:28If the short fuse after a long day is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
13. 2:46If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
14. 2:59If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
15. 3:12I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
16. 3:25If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
17. 3:38We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
18. 3:52I'll step back. You stay here.
19. 4:02You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
20. 4:14Small efforts are the whole method.
21. 4:24A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
22. 4:35Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
23. 4:48Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
24. 4:58Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
25. 5:10Nothing changes for a moment.
26. 5:19Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
27. 5:31If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
28. 5:45Just the breath, still.
29. 5:54Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
30. 6:06Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
31. 6:17A few seconds more.
32. 6:26Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
33. 6:38Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
34. 6:52A short silence. Let it be empty.
35. 7:02Imagine the snap that comes from nowhere as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
36. 7:21Feel the weight of the low grumble of being easily annoyed somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
37. 7:39Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
38. 7:54Whatever the short fuse after a long day is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
39. 8:10Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
40. 8:22If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
41. 8:35Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
42. 8:46There's no need to try harder than this.
43. 8:57Let it be this simple.
44. 9:06Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.
45. 9:18Before you open your eyes, notice how you feel compared to the start. It might be small.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.