Letting go for fear of flying: 3 minutes, when you are overwhelmed

About this practice

For the times when you are overwhelmed when fear of flying takes up more room than you would like — 3 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 3 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: fear of flying

The fear is mostly about containment — being unable to leave. The body stays on alert for the whole flight, monitoring every change in engine pitch and every bump.

It tends to show up as:

• Tensing at each change in engine sound
• Watching the crew for signs of alarm
• Unable to sleep even on a long flight

Vigilance is exhausting but it is also optional. Giving attention a different task — feet on the floor, breath counted — lets the alertness stand down.

Doing this when you are overwhelmed

• Do not decide priorities during it
• Pick the shortest session available here
• When you finish, write down the first physical action on paper

The pile looks less like a pile once the alarm stops ringing. Sort it after, not during.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your tongue rest down, away from the roof of your mouth.
2. 0:13With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
3. 0:28This is not a performance. Nobody is listening to how well you're doing it.
4. 0:42Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
5. 0:55Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:09Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
7. 1:20Each time your mind hands you the alertness that will not switch off, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
8. 1:40Picture the clench when the engines change note as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
9. 1:59Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
10. 2:12Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
11. 2:29If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
12. 2:44Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
13. 3:00Come back to the room through your senses, one at a time.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.