self-compassion · 3 min
Grounding for perfectionism: 3 minutes, at 3pm
For the times at 3pm when perfectionism takes up more room than you would like — 3 minutes, grounding.
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About this practice
For the times at 3pm when perfectionism takes up more room than you would like — 3 minutes, grounding. A guided session of about 3 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.
What this works on: perfectionism
Perfectionism treats a mistake as evidence rather than an incident. The bar rises precisely where self-worth is attached, which is why it never becomes achievable.
It tends to show up as:
- Endless polishing before sharing
- Fear of a wrong step
- Delaying work until conditions are ideal
A practice with no grade attached is a useful counterweight. There is no wrong way to do the next few minutes.
Doing this in the mid-afternoon
- Sit upright and open a window if you can
- Expect heaviness rather than fighting it
- A short session here beats a longer one that never happens
The dip is a normal circadian low. You are riding it out, not correcting a fault.
How grounding works
Grounding brings attention to physical contact and the immediate environment. It works on the principle that the body cannot be somewhere else, so contact with the surface you are on is always available as an anchor.
- Feel the contact points — feet, seat, back — and let them take your weight
- Use the senses deliberately: what you can see, hear, touch
- Return to solidity whenever attention drifts
What happens, minute by minute
- 0:00Unclench your jaw. You were probably holding it without noticing.
- 0:12Press down slightly and feel the push back. Your body already knows where it is.
- 0:26Bring your attention to where your body meets the surface underneath you.
- 0:39Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
- 0:52Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
- 1:06Feel your calves, front and back.
- 1:16This is not the last time the demand that everything be exactly right will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
- 1:36Notice the space around the bar that is always too high. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
- 1:55Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
- 2:08Let the fear of a wrong step be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
- 2:28Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
- 2:40Name what you can see, hear and touch. Counting senses is not a distraction; it is the practice.
- 2:56Come back at your own speed. The room will wait.
Questions people ask
What does this session help with?
Perfectionism treats a mistake as evidence rather than an incident. The bar rises precisely where self-worth is attached, which is why it never becomes achievable. A practice with no grade attached is a useful counterweight. There is no wrong way to do the next few minutes.
Where and when should I do this one?
Sit upright and open a window if you can. The dip is a normal circadian low. You are riding it out, not correcting a fault.
What actually happens during the 3 minutes?
Grounding brings attention to physical contact and the immediate environment. It works on the principle that the body cannot be somewhere else, so contact with the surface you are on is always available as an anchor.
Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.