Grounding for frustration: 20 minutes, at the airport

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 20 minutes of grounding for frustration, at the airport. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: frustration

Frustration is blocked progress, repeated. Each small obstruction adds to a background irritation that eventually has nothing to do with the original cause.

It tends to show up as:

• Sighing more than usual
• Everything feeling slightly too slow
• A short fuse over minor things

Releasing some physical tension interrupts the accumulation. Frustration is often held in the jaw and hands more than it is thought about.

Doing this on a plane

• Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
• Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
• Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How grounding works

Grounding brings attention to physical contact and the immediate environment. It works on the principle that the body cannot be somewhere else, so contact with the surface you are on is always available as an anchor.

• Feel the contact points — feet, seat, back — and let them take your weight
• Use the senses deliberately: what you can see, hear, touch
• Return to solidity whenever attention drifts

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Part of you is still in the last conversation you had. That's fine. It can sit here too.
2. 0:16Nothing here needs to be efficient.
3. 0:26If some part of you is resisting this, that resistance is worth noticing too.
4. 0:40We'll be quiet for a bit longer than usual. Stay with whatever shows up.
5. 0:54Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
6. 1:06Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
7. 1:19Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
8. 1:30Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
9. 1:41Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
10. 1:53Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
11. 2:05Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
12. 2:17Picture the repeated small irritations as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
13. 2:35Think of the jaw tight with frustration as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
14. 2:53Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
15. 3:09Let the annoyance that will not settle be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
16. 3:29Notice how the repeated small irritations changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
17. 3:45Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
18. 3:59Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
19. 4:11You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
20. 4:24Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
21. 4:35If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
22. 4:49If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
23. 5:02Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
24. 5:14If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
25. 5:29We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
26. 5:43Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
27. 5:53If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
28. 6:06There's no need to try harder than this.
29. 6:17A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
30. 6:28If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
31. 6:42Let this be easy, if easy is available.
32. 6:53A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
33. 7:04If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
34. 7:17We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
35. 7:27Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
36. 7:39If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
37. 7:53Stay here a little longer.
38. 8:02Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
39. 8:15Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
40. 8:27Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
41. 8:38If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
42. 8:51Just the breath, still.
43. 9:00Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
44. 9:14Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
45. 9:26No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
46. 9:37Let it be this simple.
47. 9:46Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
48. 10:00Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
49. 10:12Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
50. 10:25Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
51. 10:39A few seconds more.
52. 10:48Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
53. 11:00I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
54. 11:13Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
55. 11:25Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
56. 11:38Let this one be unhurried.
57. 11:47Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
58. 12:00Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
59. 12:11No need to open your eyes yet.
60. 12:21Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
61. 12:35Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
62. 12:47Remain here for a few more breaths.
63. 12:57Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
64. 13:09Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
65. 13:23Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
66. 13:33Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
67. 13:44Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
68. 13:58No rush to move on.
69. 14:07Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
70. 14:19Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
71. 14:32Let the quiet do its work.
72. 14:42Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
73. 14:52If you catch yourself fighting the jaw tight with frustration, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
74. 15:10A short silence. Let it be empty.
75. 15:20the annoyance that will not settle may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
76. 15:38Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
77. 15:54You have been carrying the repeated small irritations for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
78. 16:14You do not have to win against the jaw tight with frustration. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
79. 16:32Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
80. 16:45Notice where the annoyance that will not settle lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
81. 17:04This is not the last time the repeated small irritations will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
82. 17:23Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
83. 17:36Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
84. 17:47If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
85. 18:00If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
86. 18:13I'll step back. You stay here.
87. 18:23Small efforts are the whole method.
88. 18:33Let your body keep settling.
89. 18:42Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.
90. 18:53Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently, like you're testing that they still work.
91. 19:06Let the pause stretch out.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.