Breathing for fear of flying: 12 minutes, on the way in

About this practice

For the times on the way in when fear of flying takes up more room than you would like — 12 minutes, breathing. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: fear of flying

The fear is mostly about containment — being unable to leave. The body stays on alert for the whole flight, monitoring every change in engine pitch and every bump.

It tends to show up as:

• Tensing at each change in engine sound
• Watching the crew for signs of alarm
• Unable to sleep even on a long flight

Vigilance is exhausting but it is also optional. Giving attention a different task — feet on the floor, breath counted — lets the alertness stand down.

Doing this on your commute

• Headphones on, eyes open or closed depending on your comfort
• Keep one part of your attention on your stop
• Do it standing if sitting is not possible — nobody is watching

Commuting time is already dead time. Nothing is being given up.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Turn your phone face down if it's within reach. If it's in another room, even better.
2. 0:15Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
3. 0:29Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
4. 0:43Notice the weight of your arms without moving them.
5. 0:54Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:08Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
7. 1:21Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
8. 1:33Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
9. 1:45Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
10. 1:57Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
11. 2:09If the clench when the engines change note shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
12. 2:30Each time your mind hands you the fear of being trapped up there, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
13. 2:50Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
14. 3:03If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
15. 3:17Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
16. 3:31Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
17. 3:43Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
18. 3:57Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
19. 4:13A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
20. 4:24If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
21. 4:39Let the counting do the work. When you lose the count, start again from one — no penalty.
22. 4:55Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
23. 5:05If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
24. 5:16If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
25. 5:32A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
26. 5:43Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
27. 5:56Nothing changes for a moment.
28. 6:05Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
29. 6:18Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
30. 6:31Stay here a little longer.
31. 6:40Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
32. 6:54If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
33. 7:08Just the breath, still.
34. 7:17Feel your calves, front and back.
35. 7:27Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
36. 7:41No rush to move on.
37. 7:50Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
38. 8:03If the alertness that will not switch off has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
39. 8:22A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
40. 8:33This is not the last time the clench when the engines change note will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
41. 8:53Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
42. 9:04You are allowed to be unimpressed by the fear of being trapped up there. Indifference is a legitimate response.
43. 9:20Imagine softening the edges of the alertness that will not switch off. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
44. 9:39Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
45. 9:53If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
46. 10:07If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
47. 10:21Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
48. 10:32There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
49. 10:47No need to open your eyes yet.
50. 10:57Roll your neck once, slowly, in whichever direction feels good.
51. 11:09When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
52. 11:22Let this one be unhurried.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.