Breathing for falling asleep: 20 minutes, at the end of the day

About this practice

When falling asleep shows up at the end of the day, this 20-minute breathing session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

Watching the clock
Getting frustrated at being awake
Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this after a long day

Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
Do not review the day during it
Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Take one breath that is slightly slower than the last one. That is enough to start.
0:15Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
0:29Bring your attention to where your body meets the surface underneath you.
0:42This is not a performance. Nobody is listening to how well you're doing it.
0:56Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
1:07Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
1:20Notice your breathing, without changing it.
1:30Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
1:42Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
1:54Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
2:06Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
2:18Imagine the slow drift toward sleep as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
2:36Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the thoughts that keep the light on is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
2:56Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
3:10Feel the weight of the surrender at the end of the day somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
3:28the slow drift toward sleep may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
3:46Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
4:01If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
4:15Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
4:29Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
4:41If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
4:54If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
5:10I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
5:23If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
5:36There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
5:51A short silence. Let it be empty.
6:01Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
6:15Let the counting do the work. When you lose the count, start again from one — no penalty.
6:31Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
6:42If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
6:56Take the next breath slowly.
7:05Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
7:16Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
7:29A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
7:40Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
7:53Stay here a little longer.
8:02Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
8:15Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
8:28I'll step back. You stay here.
8:38You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
8:50Let the quiet do its work.
9:00Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
9:14Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
9:26A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
9:37Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
9:47Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
10:00I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
10:12Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
10:26If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
10:40Keep following the air.
10:49If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
11:04Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
11:16Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
11:28Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
11:41Let this one be unhurried.
11:50If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
12:04Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
12:15Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
12:28Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
12:39No need to open your eyes yet.
12:49Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
13:02Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
13:14Just the breath, still.
13:23Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
13:35Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
13:48Let it be this simple.
13:57Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
14:10Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
14:26No rush to move on.
14:35Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
14:47Notice how the thoughts that keep the light on changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
15:05Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
15:16This is not the last time the surrender at the end of the day will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
15:36Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
15:50Nothing about the slow drift toward sleep has to be explained or justified in this room.
16:05You do not have to like the thoughts that keep the light on to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
16:23Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
16:36You are allowed to be unimpressed by the surrender at the end of the day. Indifference is a legitimate response.
16:53Each time your mind hands you the slow drift toward sleep, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
17:12Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
17:26Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
17:38If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
17:51If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
18:04Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
18:16Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
18:32Let the pause stretch out.
18:41Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
18:56If you're going straight back to work, take ten seconds at the doorway first.
19:10Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal. Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Where and when should I do this one?

Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk. Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.