Breathing for appreciation: 15 minutes, after a long day

About this practice

15 minutes to meet appreciation with less of a fight. A breathing practice, after a long day. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: appreciation

Appreciation deepens by staying, not by listing. A moment held for two breaths registers differently from a moment catalogued.

It tends to show up as:

• Rushing past small kindnesses
• Not noticing ordinary comforts
• Thank-yous left unsaid

Slowing down for a moment is what turns something pleasant into something that stays with you.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Keep your eyes open if you like, resting on one point of the floor a metre or two ahead.
2. 0:16We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:26You can let your eyes close now if they weren't already.
4. 0:38Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
5. 0:51Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:05Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
7. 1:19Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
8. 1:29Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
9. 1:41Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
10. 1:53Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
11. 2:04Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
12. 2:16the thank-you waiting to be said may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
13. 2:34Let the overlooked kindnesses be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
14. 2:53Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
15. 3:06When the ordinary moments worth savoring arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
16. 3:25Imagine softening the edges of the thank-you waiting to be said. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
17. 3:43Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
18. 3:54Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
19. 4:04Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
20. 4:19Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
21. 4:31Nothing changes for a moment.
22. 4:40Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
23. 4:54Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
24. 5:05Let the pause stretch out.
25. 5:14Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
26. 5:28Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
27. 5:39Just the breath, still.
28. 5:48Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
29. 6:01Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
30. 6:12Stay with it.
31. 6:20Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
32. 6:33Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
33. 6:44Let this one be unhurried.
34. 6:53Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
35. 7:04Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
36. 7:15There's no need to try harder than this.
37. 7:26Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
38. 7:39Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
39. 7:50We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
40. 8:04If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
41. 8:17Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
42. 8:29Nothing here needs to be efficient.
43. 8:39If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
44. 8:52Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
45. 9:03If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
46. 9:16Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
47. 9:29Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
48. 9:41You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
49. 9:54If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
50. 10:09A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
51. 10:20Small efforts are the whole method.
52. 10:30If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
53. 10:44Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
54. 10:56I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
55. 11:08Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the overlooked kindnesses is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
56. 11:26This is not the last time the ordinary moments worth savoring will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
57. 11:45Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
58. 11:58You do not have to win against the thank-you waiting to be said. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
59. 12:16Nothing about the overlooked kindnesses has to be explained or justified in this room.
60. 12:30Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
61. 12:44Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
62. 12:56Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
63. 13:10If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
64. 13:23Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
65. 13:35Let this be easy, if easy is available.
66. 13:46No rush to move on.
67. 13:55Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently, like you're testing that they still work.
68. 14:08Before you open your eyes, notice how you feel compared to the start. It might be small.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.