Back pain and tension: 15-minute letting go meditation, before a conversation you are dreading

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for back pain and tension. A letting go session you can do before a conversation you are dreading. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: back pain and tension

Much of daily back discomfort is muscular load rather than structural damage — muscles holding a position long after they should have let go.

It tends to show up as:

• Lower back ache after sitting
• Stiffness on standing
• Pain that improves when moving

Attention moves into the back rather than away from it. Being willing to feel it is usually where release starts.

Doing this before a hard conversation

• Do it before, not during, and again after if it went badly
• Decide your one non-negotiable sentence beforehand
• Plan to let the other person speak first

Being settled makes it easier to listen rather than to defend. That is usually what the conversation needs.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your eyes soften. Not closed, just less busy.
2. 0:11You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:24Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
4. 0:37Imagine your thoughts as traffic on a road you're standing beside. You don't have to flag any of it down.
5. 0:54Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
6. 1:05Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
7. 1:18Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
8. 1:30Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9. 1:43Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
10. 1:55Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
11. 2:09Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
12. 2:21Notice how the muscles holding on all day changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
13. 2:38Nothing about the stiffness from sitting has to be explained or justified in this room.
14. 2:52Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
15. 3:05Picture the ache in the lower back as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
16. 3:24You do not have to win against the muscles holding on all day. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
17. 3:42Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
18. 3:53Keep following the air.
19. 4:02Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
20. 4:15Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
21. 4:26Let the pause stretch out.
22. 4:35Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
23. 4:49Notice your breathing, without changing it.
24. 4:59Let it be this simple.
25. 5:08Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
26. 5:22Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
27. 5:34Let your body keep settling.
28. 5:43Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
29. 5:57Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
30. 6:10Let this one be unhurried.
31. 6:19Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
32. 6:32Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
33. 6:43No rush to move on.
34. 6:52Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
35. 7:06Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
36. 7:17I'll step back. You stay here.
37. 7:27Nothing here needs to be efficient.
38. 7:37Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
39. 7:49Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
40. 8:00There's no need to try harder than this.
41. 8:11If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
42. 8:24No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
43. 8:35We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
44. 8:49Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
45. 9:01I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
46. 9:13Let this be easy, if easy is available.
47. 9:24Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
48. 9:35Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
49. 9:47We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
50. 9:57Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
51. 10:11Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
52. 10:23If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
53. 10:36If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
54. 10:50Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
55. 11:01Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
56. 11:12If you catch yourself fighting the stiffness from sitting, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
57. 11:29When the ache in the lower back arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
58. 11:48Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
59. 12:00This is not the last time the muscles holding on all day will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
60. 12:19If the stiffness from sitting shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
61. 12:39Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
62. 12:52If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
63. 13:04Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
64. 13:17Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
65. 13:29A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
66. 13:40Small efforts are the whole method.
67. 13:50Take the next breath slowly.
68. 13:59Stretch whatever feels stiff, then carry on.
69. 14:09Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
70. 14:19A few seconds more.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.