20-minute softening meditation for tension headaches, after a bad day

About this practice

When tension headaches shows up after a bad day, this 20-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tension headaches

Tension headaches follow a band of tightness across the forehead and around the skull, usually the product of long staring, jaw clenching and neck position.

It tends to show up as:

• A band of pressure across the forehead
• Pressure behind the eyes
• Ache worsening through the day

Softening the jaw, eyes and neck interrupts the pattern early. Once a tension headache settles in it is harder to shift.

Doing this after a bad day

• Do not review the day during it — that is what tomorrow is for
• Something physical first, then this
• Keep it short and end it deliberately

A bad day does not need a verdict. Closing it without a post-mortem is allowed.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let the floor take your weight through your feet, and stop holding yourself up for a second.
2. 0:15Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
3. 0:29This is not a performance. Nobody is listening to how well you're doing it.
4. 0:43Let your attention drop to the level of your shoulders and stay there a moment.
5. 0:57Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
6. 1:11Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
7. 1:24Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
8. 1:36Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
9. 1:49Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
10. 2:01Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
11. 2:14Feel the tops of your thighs.
12. 2:24Notice how the ache from a long staring day changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
13. 2:42You do not have to win against the band around the forehead. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
14. 3:00Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
15. 3:12Let the pressure building behind the eyes be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
16. 3:32You are allowed to be unimpressed by the ache from a long staring day. Indifference is a legitimate response.
17. 3:48Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
18. 4:02If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
19. 4:15We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
20. 4:29Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
21. 4:41Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
22. 4:53With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
23. 5:08Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
24. 5:19If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
25. 5:32Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
26. 5:45A short silence. Let it be empty.
27. 5:55If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
28. 6:08Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
29. 6:22Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
30. 6:34You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
31. 6:46Stay here a little longer.
32. 6:55Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
33. 7:10Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
34. 7:22Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
35. 7:33If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
36. 7:46Just the breath, still.
37. 7:55Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
38. 8:08Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
39. 8:20I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
40. 8:32If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
41. 8:44Keep following the air.
42. 8:53Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
43. 9:06Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
44. 9:17Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
45. 9:28Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
46. 9:41Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
47. 9:52Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
48. 10:02Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
49. 10:15I'll step back. You stay here.
50. 10:25Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
51. 10:35Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
52. 10:47No need to open your eyes yet.
53. 10:57Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
54. 11:09A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
55. 11:20Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
56. 11:30Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
57. 11:44Let your body keep settling.
58. 11:53If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
59. 12:07A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
60. 12:18Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
61. 12:29Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
62. 12:43Stay with it.
63. 12:51Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
64. 13:03Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
65. 13:16Let it be this simple.
66. 13:25Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
67. 13:38Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
68. 13:49A few seconds more.
69. 13:58Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
70. 14:11If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
71. 14:25Let the pause stretch out.
72. 14:34Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
73. 14:47Each time your mind hands you the band around the forehead, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
74. 15:06A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
75. 15:17Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the pressure building behind the eyes is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
76. 15:36Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
77. 15:50Whatever the ache from a long staring day is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
78. 16:06Imagine softening the edges of the band around the forehead. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
79. 16:24Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
80. 16:38You have been carrying the pressure building behind the eyes for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
81. 16:59You do not have to like the ache from a long staring day to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
82. 17:17Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
83. 17:30If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
84. 17:41If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
85. 17:55If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
86. 18:08I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
87. 18:20If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
88. 18:35Nothing changes for a moment.
89. 18:44When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
90. 18:57Come back at your own speed. The room will wait.
91. 19:09Take the next breath slowly.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.