20-minute letting go meditation for feeling not good enough, in the air

About this practice

When feeling not good enough shows up in the air, this 20-minute letting go session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: feeling not good enough

This feeling is comparison-driven. The mind collects evidence against you and discards the rest, so the ledger never balances.

It tends to show up as:

Measuring yourself against everyone visible
Effort feeling insufficient
A persistent sense of falling short

You cannot win the ledger. Stepping out of measuring entirely for a few minutes is more useful than winning the argument.

Doing this on a plane

Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Let your tongue rest down, away from the roof of your mouth.
0:13We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
0:28If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
0:43We'll work through this slowly. If you lose the thread, the thread will wait.
0:57Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
1:13Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
1:25Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
1:37Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
1:51Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
2:04Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
2:16Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
2:28Let the exhale carry a little of the ache of falling short with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
2:47You do not have to win against the comparison with everyone else. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
3:05Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
3:16Imagine softening the edges of the evidence your mind collects against you. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
3:35Give the ache of falling short a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
3:53Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
4:06Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
4:18Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
4:34A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
4:45Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
4:56You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
5:11No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
5:22Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
5:36With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
5:51I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
6:03If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
6:15Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
6:31I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
6:43Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
6:56Stay here a little longer.
7:05Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7:19Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
7:31A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
7:42Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
7:54Take the next breath slowly.
8:03Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
8:15Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
8:29Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
8:41If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
8:55Keep following the air.
9:04Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
9:17Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
9:30A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
9:41Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
9:53Just the breath, still.
10:02You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
10:14I'll step back. You stay here.
10:24Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
10:36Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
10:47No rush to move on.
10:56Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
11:09Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
11:21Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
11:33Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
11:47A few seconds more.
11:56If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
12:09A short silence. Let it be empty.
12:19Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
12:31Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
12:44Remain here for a few more breaths.
12:54Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
13:04Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
13:17Let this one be unhurried.
13:26Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
13:40Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
13:53Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
14:03Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
14:14Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
14:28Let the quiet do its work.
14:38Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
14:48Notice the space around the comparison with everyone else. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
15:06Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
15:17There is no correct amount of the evidence your mind collects against you to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
15:36Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
15:50Imagine the ache of falling short as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
16:08You have been carrying the comparison with everyone else for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
16:28Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
16:41When the evidence your mind collects against you presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
17:01Nothing about the ache of falling short has to be explained or justified in this room.
17:16Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
17:30If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
17:43Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
17:56Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
18:07Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
18:17Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
18:32Let your body keep settling.
18:41Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.
18:52Take one breath that's a little fuller than the others, and let it out through your mouth.
19:07No need to open your eyes yet.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

This feeling is comparison-driven. The mind collects evidence against you and discards the rest, so the ledger never balances. You cannot win the ledger. Stepping out of measuring entirely for a few minutes is more useful than winning the argument.

Where and when should I do this one?

Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on. Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.