12-minute self-compassion meditation for stress, in the office

About this practice

When stress shows up in the office, this 12-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: stress

Stress is a load that does not come off. Muscle tension accumulates in the shoulders, jaw and gut, and the body stops returning to baseline between demands.

It tends to show up as:

• Shoulders sitting up near the ears
• Short temper over small things
• Waking already tired

Short practices work on the physical part of the load. They do not remove the demands, but they stop the body storing all of them.

Doing this at your desk

• Feet flat, back supported, screen away from your eyeline
• You can do this with your eyes open if the office makes closing them awkward
• Unclench the jaw and drop the shoulders first, before anything else

Nobody needs to know you are doing it. Keep it invisible if that makes it possible.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your shoulders drop about a centimetre. That is roughly where most of us keep the day.
2. 0:15Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
3. 0:30You can let your eyes close now if they weren't already.
4. 0:42For the next few minutes, the only job is to notice what's already happening.
5. 0:56Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
6. 1:07Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
7. 1:18Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
8. 1:28Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
9. 1:39Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
10. 1:51Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
11. 2:05Picture the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
12. 2:24There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
13. 2:42Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
14. 2:53If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
15. 3:06Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
16. 3:22A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
17. 3:33If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
18. 3:47Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
19. 4:01No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
20. 4:12You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
21. 4:24Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
22. 4:40A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
23. 4:51Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
24. 5:04You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
25. 5:17Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
26. 5:29Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
27. 5:41Feel the tops of your thighs.
28. 5:51Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
29. 6:05No need to open your eyes yet.
30. 6:15Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
31. 6:28Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
32. 6:40Nothing changes for a moment.
33. 6:49Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
34. 6:59Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
35. 7:12Let this one be unhurried.
36. 7:21Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
37. 7:32Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
38. 7:46Let it be this simple.
39. 7:55Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
40. 8:07If the tension of too much on the plate starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
41. 8:25I'll step back. You stay here.
42. 8:35Notice the space around the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
43. 8:54Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
44. 9:07Nothing about the load you are carrying has to be explained or justified in this room.
45. 9:22Think of the tension of too much on the plate as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
46. 9:41Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
47. 9:54If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
48. 10:07If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
49. 10:21I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
50. 10:33The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
51. 10:48Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
52. 10:58Let your jaw, shoulders and hands be loose as you finish.
53. 11:10Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
54. 11:23Just the breath, still.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.